The Life of Remus Lupin
by BellatrixBlack1997
Summary: A boy who's life turned for the worse before it had barely even begun. How a wizard braves through life's challenges, despite his curse. His journey through adolescence and, eventually, finding love. Tonks/Remus paring but first Remus's childhood. Lyall Lupin also has hardships to face while having a werewolf for a son.
1. An Accident

The Life of Remus Lupin: From The Bite to Death

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. So do the Marudars. (Sobs into hands)

A/N: I hope you enjoy it. This was inspired because the Marudars seem to be largely represented by Sirius and James but Remus was a Marudar too. So this is his part.

Chapter 1: An Accident

Lyall Apparated home with a loud crack. Luckily, they lived far away from the Muggle neighborhood and were relatively on the countryside. He leaned heavily on the porch railing and sighed. It had been a weary day. He had nearly lost his job, after an outburst in the courtroom. His boss had told him that he would be forgiven, but only because it had been so unlike him. And Lyall agreed. He would usually be watching the trial quietly, only speaking up when it looked like they needed him too. But that day they had brought in a man who had been accused of murdering two Muggle girls. But that wasn't all. He had done it on the night of the full moon. With his teeth...

Lyall had no doubts when the man, Fenrir Greyback, entered the courtroom that he was a werewolf. His scruffy hair and beard were speckled with grey, his wild eyes were bloodshot, his yellowed teeth and nails sharpened to points, his shabby Muggle clothes torn and bloodstained in some places, and the scars that laced up his exposed neck and slashed across his face. Lyall's specialty was boggarts but he could tell a werewolf when he saw one. He also knew that werewolves were dangerous, lying, deceitful creatures of the Dark. He had glared at Greyback when he entered. Greyback glowered back. After many questions from the other jury members they were set to believe Greyback's story that he was a Muggle bum who had never even seen magic before and definitely didn't believe in werewolves. Lyall hated him more and more with every filthy word that left the part-human's lips. He never liked half-breeds, especially werewolves. Finally, the Head of the trial stood. Lyall breathed a silent sigh of relief. This nonsense would soon come to an end.

"We apologize, Mr. Greyback." The Head said. "It seems we were wrong. Mr. Smith will escort you out." Smith, who had been seated next to Lyall, stood but Lyall was quicker. He rose to his feet, hatred burning into every bone.

"WHAT!" He had cried out. His voice echoed in the courtroom. "You can't do that! It's a werewolf, a child could see that!"

"Sit, Mr. Lupin!" The Head said, aghast. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It killed the girls, you know it did! Why let it get away?"

"Mr. Greyback is a homeless Muggle." The Head sneered. "Certainly not a werewolf, and definitely not an 'it'. And he is, in no way, connected to Judy Anderson and Dolly Garders' murders."

Lyall was concerned now. "Couldn't we just lock it up tonight? It's the full moon, if it changes, we'll know."

"We can't do that." The Head said. "There's no evidence against him."

"Don't pretend to be an expert, Lupin." another man, Wilson, sneered. "You specialize in boggarts, not werewolves."

"How can you not see it? How can none of you see it?" Lyall shouted in the courtroom desperately. "Look at it! It's souless, evil! This thing deserves nothing but death!" Silence fell in the courtroom. And then the Head pointed to the door.

"Lupin, out! NOW!" Lyall scrambled to grab his stuff together and as he left the room he turned back to see the Head apologizing to Greyback. He stared at the werewolf. Greyback was looking at him with more hatred than even Lyall had expressed earlier. Lyall shuddered as he left, realizing that he had made a very powerful enemy.

Now he was worried for the safety of his family. After all, it was the full moon tonight. And his wife, Hope, was only a Muggle. She wouldn't be able to protect herself properly with a wand. And Remus. Their son, their beautiful son, was only four. He was vulnerable to attack. Lyall couldn't bear it if he lost either one of them. Lyall took a deep breath, and opened the door to the house. Hope stood in the kitchen, making dinner. She smiled when he walked in and put down the stirring spoon.

"How was your day, Lyall?" She asked. "Remus has something he wanted to tell you." Lyall smiled slightly at the mention of his son but he frowned again when an image of him being mauled by Greyback crept into his mind. Hope frowned at his expression. "Is there something wrong?"

Lyall decided then to tell Hope everything that had occurred that day even though he didn't want her to worry. "Hope, I-" he started. Just then a torpedo of red shirt, blue jeans, and floppy fawn colored hair flew down the stairs and barreled into him, nearly knocking Lyall's exhausted form off of his feet. But quickly Lyall regained his footing and wrapped his arms around his son. Remus looked up at him, smiling, his blue-green eyes glistening with excitement.

"Daddy, daddy, I did it!" He shouted. "I did magic!" Lyall raised his eyebrows, a smile playing on his lips.

"You did?" He asked. Remus nodded eagerly. "My shoes flew into the wall!" He said.

Hope chuckled from the kitchen. "I wish you had been there, Lyall." She said.

"Does this mean that I'm going to Hogwarts?" Remus asked, still staring wide eyed at his father. "I'm a wizard, like you?"

"Of course!" Lyall said happily, ruffling Remus's hair. This was just the distraction that he needed from his long day. And as he launched into stories of his Hogwarts days that excited both Remus and his wife, they had dinner and Lyall soon forgot all about werewolves, Fenrir Greyback, and the full moon outside.

/

Soon after Remus was asleep, Hope and Lyall retreated into their bedroom. "What was it you needed to tell me, Lyall?" Hope asked as she dressed into her nightgown. Lyall swallowed harshly. He had been dreading this. And he had nearly forgotten.

"It's a full moon tonight." He said quietly. Hope didn't understand so he clarified. Lyall told her of his day at the Ministry and about the words he had said about werewolves. He had also told her about the silent threat that he had seen in Greyback's eyes. By the time he had finished, Hope's expression had slowly faded from confusion to horror. But she soon had her arms around her husband, murmuring words of comfort. He pulled her close.

"But werewolves," he managed. "They're evil! Souless! They're killers. Mad. Not even human. And it's the full moon tonight. If it comes here, if Greyback come here, I don't know what I would do if it hurt you, or-or Remus..."

"Shhh." Hope said softly. "It's going to be alright. How would he even find us? We'll be fine, Lyall, you're just overreacting. Besides, we don't even know if this Fenrir Greyback was a werewolf-"

"It was, I know it was!"

"Okay, okay. But we don't know if he's coming for us. Why would he? And even so, how would he find us?"

"They aren't like us, Hope." Lyall murmured. "They aren't like humans."

"Please try to sleep, Lyall." Hope said. "Everything will seem brighter in the morning."

Lyall hoped she was right.

/

Remus was not sure at first what had woken him up. It seemed that there had been something scratching at the window. He turned towards it and froze in horror. Beneath the light of the full moon, was a vicious beast. A large wolf. A monster. He couldn't move, he could barely breathe. He cowered underneath the covers as the monster scratched its way through the window and into the room. Then Remus screamed. "MUMMY! DADDY! HELP!"

But by then it was too late. The monster's powerful jaws clamped upon his arm just as his father came bursting into the room, his mother just behind him. Remus still screamed. Until his throat was raw, he screamed, he couldn't stop. Even after the monster was gone, after the spells stopped shooting, and his mother and father were anxiously at his side, trying to help, he couldn't stop. It just hurt too much. He could feel a thrumming in his veins, the monster's saliva traveling into every inch of his body. The bite wasn't the only thing that hurt, it was everything, everywhere. Slowly his eyes slid out of focus and it was his parents' terrified faces that he last saw before falling into unconciousness.


	2. A Monster in the Bed

A/N: A special shout out to Remustonkslupin, my first reviewer! Thanks, I really, really, appreciate it! So, I have been debating if I should right away skip to Remus getting his letter or if I should do a little of his experience immediately after the bite. I decided on the latter but do not worry, the Marudars are coming up! And also, there will be some Lyall-point-of-view because he is just a fun character to write.

Chapter 2: A Monster in the Bed

Remus woke gradually. He tried to open his eyelids, but they refused to obey him. He could feel the sting of bright lights beyond them anyway. He felt pain, so much pain. It was everywhere, burning through his bones, igniting his blood. And his shoulder was so sore from...

From what? Why did he hurt so much? Remus stretched his memory and it all came back to him in a rush. A monster. A monster had broken into his room and attacked him. Where were mummy and daddy? Why weren't they at his side? Or maybe they were. He tried again to open his eyes and this time was more successful. His parents weren't there. And Remus would have panicked a lot if not for the moment when he realized how bright everything was. And how loud. And unfamiliar scents stung at his nose. He whimpered a little, but that was loud too. A Healer came rushing in, looking half-asleep and still pinning her hair up. She stopped when she saw him.

"Oh, honey..." She said softly. Remus cringed at her voice. The Healer quickly went to the table next to him and started pouring a generous dose of potion. "Drink, sweetie." The Healer smiled down at him and gently lifted his head to help him drink, but he drew away from her. Stuttering, he asked,

"W-where's m-my mummy and d-daddy?" The Healer looked at him, pitingly.

"They'll be here soon, sweetheart. Just try to sleep for now." And before Remus could protest, the Healer tipped the potion into his mouth and layed him back on the bed. A sudden drowsiness overtook him and Remus felt himself slipping out of consciousness. But as the waking world faded and the overwhelming senses dulled, he heard another person come in. Another Healer.

"...not sure why we take care of them here," the Healer said, clearly irritated. "Werewolves don't deserve it, if you ask me." Remus's last thought before the potion took him was what on earth was a werewolf.

/

Lyall didn't know how to explain to Hope what had happened to their son, their precious son. When he first saw the bite, he knew. Remus was gone. He was still physically here, of course, but being no longer human he might as well have died. Lyall only hoped perhaps Remus hadn't been in pain. He couldn't bear him to have been in pain during his last moments as human. Hope had screamed and cried for their son when the Healers rushed him to the Dai Llweyn ward. Lyall didn't want to tell her that he wasn't Remus anymore. He couldn't. It brought him great relief when the Head of the ward ushered them into his office to explain what had happened for Hope. Lyall really couldn'tve been the one to tell her, but at the same time, he didn't really want this Healer confirming that his son was gone and he would never speak to the same boy again.

Hope and Lyall sat before the Healer. The Healer straightened his robes a little and looked at them a long while. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Mr. and Mrs. Lupin?" He asked. Lyall nodded while Hope murmured a yes. The Healer sighed and folded his hands on the table. "Are you aware of the creature that attacked your son tonight?"

"It was...It was a werewolf." Lyall choked out. Hope began to sniffle softly into her handkerchief.

"I'm afraid that is correct." The Healer nodded. "And your son was clearly bitten. He's infected with lycanthropy. I'm very sorry."

Hope looked up, eyes red from crying and lack of sleep. "What are you saying? There has got to be something you can do!"

"I'm very sorry, ma'am." The Healer said again. Hope was ready to make what would no doubt be another remark about the Healer's "incompetence", but Lyall stopped her by grasping her hand and drawing her close. "There's no cure, Hope." He said somberly. "There's nothing he can do."

Hope broke into tears once more. When the crying subsided a little, she asked, "What is lycanthropy? Will it kill him?" Of course, Hope didn't realize what it was. She must have thought it was a deadly disease. The truth unfortunately was much more horrifying...

"Hope." Lyall said. "Remember when I told you about the werewolf at work? Well, when someone is bitten by one, then they turn into one too. That's what lycanthropy is. Remus is gone, Hope. He might as well have died. He's only a part-human now." Hope's reaction to learning her son was a werewolf was mostly surprised shock but when Lyall began to tell her that Remus had "died", she sat up straighter and started shaking her head, while saying "no" over and over in a raspy whisper.

Luckily, the Healer interfered. "Mr. Lupin." He said. "I'm afraid, I don't follow. You see, it's true your son is, most unfortunately, a werewolf, and his blood status is part-human or half-breed, but he's still your son. And I can assure you that the bite does not directly affect any personality changes. Or," he mentioned with a smile. "magical capabilities." Hope had stopped shaking her head though tears still ran down her face.

"H-he's still-still a wizard?" She stuttered. The Healer smiled at her.

"Yes." He said. His look grew more somber. "But I won't pretend that he could attend Hogwarts or any other wizarding school for the matter. This is a very prejudiced world as Mr. Lupin has so kindly shown for us," Lyall shrunk in his seat. "It just wouldn't be safe. I suggest that you teach him all you know, buy him a wand at eleven like any other ordinary child and then proceed teaching him at home" Hope had turned coldly to the Healer.

"My son is going to school." She said. The Healer opened his mouth to disagree but a look from Lyall told him to drop it. Lyall would explain to her later.

"Is there anything else?" Lyall asked.

"Yes, we'll have to discuss containment on full moons but first I would think you'd want to see young Remus." Hope jumped up sharply.

"Take me to my baby." She said.

/

When Remus awoke this time, his senses were still strong but less powerful than before and his mother was at his bedside. She gently stroked his hair out of his eyes as he slowly opened them. His mother smiled but it seemed forced and sad. She had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Mummy?" Remus asked. "Mummy, are you alright?" His mother let more tears escape her eyes as she let out a strangled son but the smile became more real than before.

"Am I alright? My darling boy, you're worried about me?" Remus nodded a little but stopped because it made his head hurt. Suddenly, his father appeared and placed a hand on Remus's mother's shoulder.

"Remus." His father began but then stopped and turned away. Some sniffling could be heard.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Remus asked. "Why are you and Mummy so sad?" His father looked at him again, this time with wonder and perhaps even hope in his eyes.

"You-You're worried about me? You're in the hospital and w-worried about m-m-me?" Remus's mother smiled up at him as he stuttered.

"I told you." She said. "He's just as he was before." Remus's father nodded.

Then Remus asked, "When can I go? I don't like it here. And what was that monster that came through my window?" At this his parents both burst into tears. "No! No, don't cry! I-I...what did I do?"

"No!" His mother had recovered and though tears still stuck to her face, she was looking at him fiercely. "This was not your fault! I never want to hear you say that this was your fault! Do you understand me?" Remus felt tears prick his own eyes as he fiercely shook his head up and down despite the pain it brought him in doing so. Hope sat back in her chair, seemingly satisfied with herself. His father sat on the edge of his bed and surveyed him through a sheen of sorrow.

"You really haven't changed?" He put his hand to Remus's forehead as if checking for a fever, then he let his hand drop. "Remus..." He started once more. "Remus, do you know what a werewolf is?"

"That's what the one lady said!" Remus exclaimed. "I heard her say 'werewolf', but I don't know what it means."

By this time his father had looked away from him and now stared down sadly into his lap. Remus hated that his parents were so sad. Whatever this werewolf was, it must be the cause of their sadness, he deduced. Remus already disliked this werewolf.

"You're ill, Remus." His mother said, finally. "The creature that came through your window was a werewolf, and he made you ill." Remus flashed back to being sick with the flu. He didn't feel sick. Perhaps his mother was mistaken.

"Mummy, I don't feel sick..." He said.

"It's not that kind of sick, Remus." She answered. Remus didn't know whether to ask what kind of sick it was or if he should ask the more important one on his mind. He chose the latter.

"When will I get better?" Neither of his parents answered.

/

Remus was at St. Mungo's for about a week. Lyall had worried so much over him that he had found three new grey hairs in his fawn colored hair. So many Healers came in to take care of him, he and Hope had made sure he got the very best and tried their best to keep him away from any prejudiced remarks. Luckily, Remus was blessedly ignorant to the fact if one would come his way. Many Healers as well as Lyall and Hope themselves had tried to explain to Remus in the best way to tell a four year old that he was a werewolf. Hope always made sure that they spoke of it as "lycanthropy", or an "illness" or "condition". She preferred those words better than the alternative and Lyall did too. He was at first worried about his son's personality dying with the bite, but as it was explained to him by countless Healers and his wife, as well as Remus himself being proof, he knew now that that was false. But Lyall could still not shake the guilt he carried that this was all his fault. If only he had not spoken out so harshly about werewolves, then Greyback wouldn't have gone after his son. He knew now that not all werewolves were evil and soulless monsters. Remus certainly wasn't. But Greyback was. That view, at least, had not changed. Hope never even mentioned that this was his fault. He kept expecting her to lose it on him, especially when they were alone in rooms, without their son as witness. But she was as calm and sweet as ever, not acknowledging even that the unfortunate tragedy they had befallen was even remotely his fault. Lyall could not have loved her more. And yet it made him feel even more miserable. He did not deserve it.

All while Remus was in the hospital, Lyall stayed out of work. He told them his son had been injured which was technically true. He just left out some key details. Then Remus was discharged and Hope had convinced him to go back to work. Life then went back to normal, for the most part. And Remus really didn't change. But then the full moon was upon them.

They had been told by experts which spells to use on the door to the cellar and everything was ready. Remus had been curious as to what was going on but neither Lyall nor Hope knew how to respond to their son's questions.

The morning of Remus woke with a fever and claimed to have aches all over his body. Lyall knew that this was the preparation for the change. He called in sick at work that day. Remus layed in his bed all day, whilst Hope tended to him. Lyall avoided him meanwhile. He couldn't face his son when he was in so much pain.

The time soon came. Lyall hesitated on the threshold, before coming into to Remus's room. He nearly cried, staring at his sleeping form, before gently lifting him up. His eyes slowly blinked open. "Daddy?" He asked. "Daddy, where are we going?" Lyall looked away. Hope was weeping behind him, stroking Remus's hair as they trekked to the cellar door. There Lyall forced Hope to wait. Alone now, he went downstairs and set Remus onto the floor over a white towel. Lyall helped him out of his clothes. Remus was halfway through asking yet again what was going on, when he cut himself off. He cried out, holding his side, and arching his back as his spine began elongating and his bones began cracking. Lyall raced up the stairs and slammed the door. There he performed the final charms and then collapsed against the door, Hope beside him. They clung to each other desperately. And there they spent the night, listening to their son's tortured screams and eventually howls. When it finally ended, they both sprang up. Lyall opened the door and the two bolted down the stairs. Remus lay in the corner, bloodied and raw. Hope gasped and fell to her knees next to him. "Remus? Remus, baby, can you hear me? Remus? Remus!" Lyall whipped out his wand and tried his best to heal what he could but cursed wounds would scar. When it was finally done, he carried him back to his bedroom to let him rest. But when they got there, Remus woke.

"Daddy, there's a monster." He croaked. "There's a monster inside me." Lyall nearly broke down once more. He simply left the room, and ignored the whimpering on the other side of the door. He went downstairs to where Hope sat feverishly scrubbing at bloodstains in the hall.

"Hope." He said. "We're going to find a cure."

A/N: This one totally ran away from me. And it was more Lyall than Remus too which I'm not sure if I like but it's crucial to the story line. Anyways, we're jumping seven years in the next one so be prepared. Please review, I love to hear from you guys! And let me know if you liked Lyall's point of view or if you just want to hear from Remus's perspective because I can work with either! Thank you!


	3. An Unexpected Letter and a Visitor

A/N: No new reviews! :( You guys are making me sad! Tell me your thoughts, your questions, your favorite color, something! On another note, here's the third chapter. Seven years later, as promised! I hope this one will stir responses. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 3: An Unexpected Letter and Visitor

*SEVEN YEARS LATER*

Remus made his way down to the breakfast table. His mum was just sitting down next to his father. She smiled when he came in. "Good morning, darling!" She said, her words changing slightly to the Welsh dialect she grew up with. Remus stopped. His mum only ever used the Welsh accent when she was angry. He cast an anxious glance to his father who stared vacantly into his porridge bowl. "Sit down, dear." Mum said, making Remus jump. "Don't let your porridge go cold, now." Remus slowly pulled out his usual chair beside Father and across from Mum. Father and Mum shared a look. There was sorrow in Father's while Mum's was determined. Finally, Father sighed, breaking the glare, and dejectedly picked up his spoon. Remus too began eating but he kept shooting furtive looks at his parents. They used to fight when he was younger, after "the accident", and Mum would get mad when a "cure" didn't work, anger usually aimed at Father. Remus knew their marriage wasn't perfect and he felt that he was to blame for it. After all, his mother was a Muggle. And it was one thing for her to adjust to having wizards for a husband and son, but quite another to accept her child as part-human. And Remus knew Father's career was suffering as a result of absences to take care of him during full moons and money was going down the drain with dittany expenses, hospital bills, and of course money for the "cures". So, when Mum and Father began things this way, Remus would immediately feel a mass of guilt drown his insides.

After a long silence save for the scraping around of spoons on bowls as the Lupin family ate, Mum cleared her throat. "Remus." She said. "Are you excited to get a wand?" Father had already told Remus about the plan to purchase a wand in Diagon Alley, just like any other ordinary eleven year old wizard. Only instead of going on the Hogwarts Express with all of the ordinary children, Remus, the werewolf, would be educated by Father, safe at home where the prejudiced magical world couldn't reach him. Remus nodded in response to Mum's question. But he could still feel the burning tension between his parents and wondered what had been being discussed before he had come downstairs. He didn't have long to wait before the object of their obvious quarrel was revealed. Mum pulled out a letter from her dress pocket and passed it across the table.

"This came for you, Remus dear." She said.

"Hope, no!" Father said, staring in horror at the letter that Remus held lightly in his hands. Written in green ink it said, "To Mr. R. Lupin." His address was scrawled nearly underneath. He turned the letter over and saw that it had been closed with a wax seal in the shape of a large letter H. He looked curiously up at his parents. Mum smiled softly at him, whilst Father had gone sickenly pale and seemed as though he wanted to snatch the letter out of Remus's hands right then. But he didn't and instead bowed his head. Remus curiously picked at the was seal before pulling it off and opening the envelope. Inside was a letter. The top said "Dear Mr. Remus Lupin," and the first line nearly stopped his heart.

"You have been accepted into Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry." He looked up at his parents, not daring to believe. "Am I...Am I really..." He trailed off trying to read the many emotions that flickered in Father's eyes.

"They don't know, Remus." Father said. "They couldn't have known or they wouldn'tve sent you that letter. I'm sorry, truly, but we'll just have to politely refuse." Mum slammed her hands down on the table.

"You're the one that's been saying all these years that Dumbledore knows everything and so absolutely would not send him a letter! Well, he has, Lyall! Can't you be happy?"

"It's a mistake then, nothing more. I love Remus, really, but they wouldn't let..." He stopped suddenly. Remus knew what he almost said. They wouldn't let a werewolf into Hogwarts. And no matter how smart he was or responsible, it all came back to that. He would always be a lying, deceitful, dangerous, half-breed. He wasn't even sure if Father did love him, though he certainly tried. Remus crumpled down in his seat. He no longer believed that the letter really meant he was going to Hogwarts. Despite Mum's efforts to make it true, they had proved fruitless. The letter Remus now held in his hand was not meant to be addressed to him. It was a mistake, just like Father had said. A mistake like the one all those years ago, in his bedroom, when some poor werewolf that hadn't been able to properly contain himself broke into his room and ruined his life.

Suddenly, a large knock sounded at the door. The Lupin family all turned their heads. They never got visitors. Never. "My name is Professor Albus Dumbledore," the man said from outside. "Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please let me in." Father tensed and looked to Mum. An argument like a hurricane rose on each's lips about, of all things, should they open the door. Remus could not bear another second of listening to it and definitely could not choose to open the door so he went upstairs into his bedroom prepared to fall onto his bed and think of all other things that he, as a werewolf, wouldn't be able to do, when he stopped. Staring back at him, quite pleasantly, were two ice blue eyes. The eyes were attached to an elderly looking man who was wearing a brightly colored hat and robes and spectacles that sat on a crooked nose. He smiled at him.

"Mr. Remus Lupin, I presume?" He said in a kind voice. The same voice that had been behind the door not a moment ago. Remus heard himself utter something that sounded little more than a squeak. He felt his face go red in embarrassment but Dumbledore gave no sign that the reaction was the least bit unexpected. He tilted his head instead, appearing to listen for something. Remus listened too and made out the sounds of his parents still trapped in the heat of battle. It wrenched at his heart and he scolded himself as he had many times before for being a filthy part-human that his parents had been so undeservingly burdened with.

Dumbledore turned back to him. "It seems they may be awhile so I thought we should talk. Perhaps over a game of Gobstones, if it makes you more comfortable?" Remus nodded humbly still trying to get over the fact that the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Albus Dumbledore, was standing in his humble room in the countryside offering to play Gobstones and talk with him, a lowly young werewolf.

Dumbledore whisked out his wand and Conjured a Gobstones set onto Remus's desk, clearing aside some books with a Levitating Charm. He then Conjured a second plush chair and sat down. Remus slowly sat too, not quite letting his mind believe it. "Now then, I'm afraid it's been a rather long time since I've played, so you may need to remind me on the rules from time to time." Again, Remus nodded.

They began the game and as time wore on Remus found the shock wearing off and became more comfortable, but also weary about what exactly the Headmaster wanted to say. Maybe they had discovered he was a werewolf and needed to withdraw his letter. But if that were so, then it wasn't very likely he would waste his time by playing a game with him. So why was here? When the Headmaster suddenly cleared his throat and locked his light blue eyes onto Remus, he knew he would soon find out.

"Remus," Dumbledore said. "I believe you would have received your letter by today. Tell me, are you excited to attend Hogwarts?" Remus gulped.

"Sir," he began, "I would love to attend, really, but I can't. I'm...I..." This was it. The confession. After this, there would be no chance of going to Hogwarts. "I...I'm sick." It was not really a lie, per say, but it still made him inwardly curse his half-breed tongue, for it must have been its fault for the misleading proclamation. Werewolves, after all, were meant to be lying and deceitful creatures. Dumbledore nodded.

"I'm well aware of your condition, Remus." He said. "And you should know that with the proper arrangements made, I would love to have you at the school regardless." They were the happiest words Remus had ever heard. Could there perhaps be a chance he would go to Hogwarts after all? Like how he had fantasized about before the accident? It all felt too good to be true and he couldn't help but think that Dumbledore had mistaken him for someone else, with another illness, which was really just an illness and nothing to question one's humanity about.

"Sir, what exactly do you know about my condition?" Dumbledore smiled in a sweet, almost paternal manner.

"I know that you were infected with lycanthropy when you were very young and I don't know what thoughts have ran in your mind since then but I can assure you, Remus Lupin, that there is a place at my school for you if you want it." Before Remus could respond, his bedroom door banged open. His father stood in the doorway, wand in hand, his mother just behind.

"Don't hurt him." Father huffed. "Please, don't. Just leave us be, he hasn't done anything."

"Now, really!" Mum scolded Father. "Accusing the man when we don't know if he's done anything! I'm ashamed of you, Lyall!"

"He's breaking and entering, for starters-"

Sensing an impending argument, Remus cut his Father off, despite all manners he had been taught. "Father, Mum, please. Professor Dumbledore says he knows about my lycanthropy. He wants me to go to school anyway."

You could have heard a pin drop in the hushed room. Mum looked a bit surprised but also radiant with joy. Father's jaw had dropped and he stared from Dumbledore to Remus, utterly flabbergasted.

"Now, of course, I have made the proper arrangements if it is your wish for Remus to come." Dumbledore said. "So, in full moons, he shall stay in a house on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. It has been protected with multiple enchantments that I myself laid down. I can assure you no one can get in or out except through a tunnel underneath our school's new Whomping Willow. That will be the passage Remus shall take."

Mum and Father seemed both to be stunned by the simplicity of it all. Remus was too. And, most of all, it was just like that. It had been decided that he could have a chance to go to Hogwarts and it had only been a matter of making arrangements for full moons. There were no catches, no fine print, no Ministry Hearings, or majority disagreements. If he wanted to go, he could go. Like any other ordinary, human child.

He turned to his parents. Father seemed to have tears in his eyes. Mum too. Were they truly that happy for him or was it reminiscence of their fight?

"Do you want to attend, Remus?" Father asked cautiously. Remus was terrified and confused and excited all at once.

"Yes!"

/

After a quick talk with Dumbledore about how exactly they would deal with Remus's "condition", as Dumbledore referred to it, he was leaving. "You seem like a bright young wizard." Dumbledore said. "I look forward to having you in my school." Remus smiled. Father's brow furrowed as the family led Dumbledore out.

"How did you hear about Remus's condition, exactly?" He asked.

"I have a spy among Greyback's ranks." The Headmaster responded. "Do not worry, your son's secret is safe with those who know." And with that, he was gone. Father turned to Remus and his smile nearly outstripped his son's.

But a question still nagged at Remus. Who was this Greyback?

A/N: If you liked it, please review! If you have any suggestions or questions, please review! They make me feel like this story is wanted. :)


	4. Ollivanders

A/N: Thank you to last chapter's reviewers, Seena T and Ocean Eyed Redhead! Your reviews really made me feel good! So some of this chapter is dedicated to experimenting in Hope's perspective. Also, I debated for a long time if I should have James and Sirius in this chapter. But Remus still needs to go to Diagon Alley... Anyways, if you're practically falling out of your chair for the other Marudars like I am, then I have made a little compromise. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 4: Ollivanders

Remus hadn't really smiled in a long time. Not since that night, seven years ago. Hope had been there whilst her husband had calmly explained things to him after the first moon. About how he was sick and the full moon would continue to hurt and there was nothing to be done for now. It nearly broke her heart. These were problems too vast for even an adult to have to deal with, little known her young, sweet, innocent child who was just barely four. She knew the wizarding world would be a more complex life and she had to be prepared for things like that, the boggart she had met in the woods shortly before meeting Lyall was proof enough. She knew who she was marrying and the world that came with it. But never could she have imagined that something like this would happen to her beautiful little boy. And as years went by, Remus had begun to accept what he was. But the blissfully youthful joy he once had, had been abandoned somewhere in the basement.

Occasionally his lips would quirk up or he would chuckle slightly but he never really smiled. Until Dumbledore came. Acceptance into Hogwarts had changed him. Every time Hope saw him, he was beaming. And his smile would grow whenever he saw the letter addressed to him. He would spend countless hours reading it over and over, as if not able to believe that any of it was real.

And that was his father's doing, Hope realized. Lyall had grown up hearing the prejudices against werewolves and he had carried them with him to adulthood. Hope remembered when he had told her in a fit of rage what had happened in the courtroom with Fenrir Greyback. Lyall had referred to Greyback as 'It' the entire time. Hope had never heard Lyall treat Remus with such disrespect. But she knew that her husband had also had to explain why a werewolf couldn't go to Hogwarts. And Remus, at four and only having just started doing accidental magic, had gotten an instant wrench wedged into his future. And Hope saw everything she and Lyall had built together crash around them.

And for what? Because her prejudiced husband couldn't keep his mouth shut and had to go and insult a notorious werewolf? Remus had been condemned to live a life of tragedy, loneliness, and a struggle to survive with no education behind him, shadowed by the stigma that came with lycanthropy, and it was all because Lyall had to tell his views as biased as possible in the courtroom. That letter, along with Dumbledore's visit, was not just a breath of fresh air for Remus, but for Hope as well. It was the night before the Lupin family was scheduled to go to Diagon Alley. It would be Remus's first time and in fact Hope's too. She was a bit excited to see all of the wizarding stores and for a moment she thought it would be a nice way to get closer to Lyall's world before she remembered how close she already was.

Remus had gone to bed hours ago and now Hope sat up alone reading Muggle stories that Lyall never understood and always scoffed at the "primitive knowledge" Muggles had. Funny how he seemed to forget he was married to one. That was one thing about Lyall she could do without. His constant teasing condescension towards Muggles and the insults he yelled behind closed doors about werewolves, always somehow excluding her and her son from these groups. It was as if in his mind his wife was not a Muggle and son not a werewolf.

And actually, now that Hope thought about it, there were many things about Lyall that she could do without as of late. Their marriage truly had been falling to pieces and if it wasn't for Remus, the glue that seemed to keep them together, they surely would not have stayed with each other. Of course, perhaps it could have all gone differently, if only Remus hadn't been bitten...

She snapped herself out of the wretched thoughts of what if. There was no what if and it would never do good to think that way. She always held onto the possibility that there was a cure out there, somewhere. But to wish the past had gone differently could never help anyone.

She heard someone on the stairs so looked up. "Lyall." She said cooly. To her surprise, he looked almost ashamed. Bowing his head, he quickly walked to the side of her chair, nearly tripping his own feet. Like a child waiting to be scolded. He slowly met her gaze.

"Hope." He said. "I'm sorry. About not thinking Remus could go to school. I should have listened to you. I should have always listened to you." Hope stared incredulously into the beautiful eyes of her husband. It seemed she noticed finally the wrinkles around them and the many grey hairs protruding from his scalp. He had aged. They both had.

Hope grasped one of Lyall's hands into both of her's. "I love you, Lyall. I think I may always. And Remus needs both of us. But I can't forgive you for these last seven years. I can't forgive you for your behavior about Remus's schooling or towards Greyback forever ago. And I think...I think we may need some time apart, while Remus is at school."

Lyall nodded. "I understand. I think that may be best." And Hope went back to her reading whilst Lyall trudged back up the stairs. And neither noticed the little eleven year boy crouched behind his bedroom door, listening to the fall of his parents' marriage.

/

Remus lay awake for a long time, replaying the conversation he had overheard in his head. It wasn't like he meant to eavesdrop, of course. His hearing was slightly better than the average person's since the accident. But he couldn't deny crawling out of bed and crouching behind his door which was already ajar in order to get a clearer view down the stairs and into the living room. His parents had been fighting since practically as long as he could remember. Most of these arguments were behind closed doors, after he was long asleep. But the aftermath always hung in the air, haunting the quiet, lonely house, leaving each room buzzing with echoes.

But what he had seen and heard wasn't an argument. It was an agreement. To stay away from each other. After years of treading on thin ice, it had finally shattered beneath their feet and Remus felt as though he was being dragged down too. Except that he felt he was to blame. There was a time, he knew, when they loved each other. The wedding photo on the mantle downstairs proved that. And there was this memory in the back of Remus's head of his parents curled up on the couch together, Mum's head resting on Father's chest whilst he stroked the hair from her forehead. It was because of him, that they had come to this. It was because of him, that they were taking anger out on each other. Anger towards him. What other explanation could there be? It was all Remus's fault and now they were finally leaving each other. While he would be at school, they would leave each other.

Remus hardly slept that night and when sunlight streamed through his window, he at first forgot why he had been so excited the day before. It rushed back to him in a flash. They were going to Diagon Alley. He and his parents. Together. Remus decided to watch for any signs that they were angry but he knew it would be hard to tell. They always put on a charade in front of him, to spare him from the truth.

He tramped down the stairs and into the kitchen, sitting at his usual place just as Mum set a plate of food down in front of him. "Oh!" She startled, looking at him. "Remus, dear, you gave me such a fright! I didn't hear you come down!" Remus inspected his mother whom had shadows under her eyes and seemed to be altogether too exhausted to stand. She seemed pale and jumpy but all the same, smiled sweetly at Remus and sat across from him with food of her own. "How'd you sleep, love?" She asked.

"Well enough." Remus said carefully. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine, fine. Just excited for Diagon Alley. I assume you are too, my darling boy."

"Oh, yes!" Remus said, temporarily forgetting what had been on his mind all night with the reminder that he really was going to visit Diagon Alley, in order to get supplies for a school that he really was going to attend. Remus then launched into a detailed monologue of everything he wished to see while Mum would occasionally add in and mostly smile and nod along to him. It wasn't until Father came down the stairs that Mum's soft, bell-like laugh stopped abruptly and she hurriedly studied her hands. Father avoided staring at her. He patted Remus's head as he walked by and began serving himself breakfast. The tension from the previous night had rushed out of the corners and was now hitting them in waves. Mum got up suddenly as Father sat. "I should get ready." She said.

And now it was just Remus and Father, alone. These moments didn't typically happen, and when they did, it usually passed in an awkward silence before one would find an excuse to leave. It wasn't that they didn't get along, it was just that they never knew what to say. Father had always been busy working to ever have a real relationship with his son and then Remus had been too sickly. Mum was, to Remus, the bridge between Father and him. She knew them both well enough that when the three were together conversation could pass smoothly. Or it used to be that way. Now Remus's parents could scarcely look at each other.

Remus had finished his breakfast and now wanted more than anything to bolt up the stairs and change for Diagon Alley. Actually what he really wanted was to leave the deafening quiet, but Father wasn't finished yet and he did know his manners. He sat on the edge of his seat as Father slowly ate, trying not to look too anxious. It must have shown, however, for Father looked up at him and nodded at the stairs. "Go put on your robes." He said. Remus hesitated only a moment before racing up the steps and into his bedroom. He closed the door, pressed his forehead against the cool wood and breathed a sigh of relief into the crisp morning.

/

Diagon Alley was busy, no doubt with students getting ready for Hogwarts. Remus felt small as the crowd hustled from one shop to the next and it seemed impossible to move without getting stepped on. His parents were on either side of him, Mum's hand grasping his tightly, Father guiding him by the shoulder. "Came at a bad time, I'd say!" Father yelled over the noise. "I forgot how busy it can get, it's been so long!"

"Where should we start?" Mum asked.

"Madam Malkin's is probably best. She doesn't look too busy."

The Lupins made their way to Madam Malkin's robe shop and came inside. A woman and two boys were just exiting the shop. They all had raven-colored hair and wore expressions as if they were used to people giving them what they wanted and weren't accustomed to hearing no. The boys had eyes that looked almost grey. The woman's eyes were black and seemed to disapprove of everything she saw. She was steering her boys out of the shop when one of them, the elder one accidentally knocked into Remus. Both boys cried out in surprise. The woman turned around and grabbed her son closer.

"Apologize, Mudblood!" She shrieked. Father gasped and stepped towards the woman. But before he could say anything, Remus spoke up.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to cause trouble." The woman glared at him. She then turned on her heel and left the shop, taking her boys with her. Mum followed her out. Remus watched them go, then looked up at Father.

"It's alright." He said. "Some people are like that. It has nothing to do with you." Remus wondered what the term 'Mudblood' meant. He had heard it said a handful of times when Father was telling Mum something about work but he never understood it. He was about to ask Father when a woman who must have been Madam Malkin came out from behind a curtain.

"Hogwarts, I suppose?" She asked, smiling kindly.

"That's right." Father said with, unless Remus was mistaken, pride. But then a frown began at the corners of his lips as he said, "Nothing too expensive, for fabric, I mean. We still have school books to purchase." He said the last part under his breath and Madam Malkin gave no sign of hearing, but Remus did and the words sent shivers up his spine. He didn't want to be a financial burden as well.

Madam Malkin nodded. "Of course. Would cotton work, I wonder? Oh, I'm sure it will be fine. Come, right back here now, dear." With a fleeting glance at Father, Remus hesitantly followed Madam Malkin behind the curtain. A few other boys were already being fitted, each standing on a step stool with their arms held out on either side. Remus stood on the closest stool and let Madam Malkin take the proper measurements. While she worked, he heard a loud squeak. He turned to his left quickly, making Madam Malkin tsk and purse her lips. "Hold still, dear."

Remus turned only his head this time and much more slowly. A little ways down was a boy about his age. He was short, plump, and had no doubt just been poked by a needle. His beady, watery blue eyes reminded Remus of some kind of rodent, like a rat, and when they noticed him watching, the boy's face reddened and he seemed to shrink into the obviously too large robes. Remus looked away again.

After the robes were finished and bought Remus and Father shoved through the crowd once more to get to Flourish and Blotts. Mum was nowhere to be found. Remus had begun to worry about her. They entered the bookshop and Remus's eyes widened. He had never seen so many books in his life. He quickly pulled the book list from his pocket and began consulting the shelves while Father absently picked through some boggart books.

Traveling up and down the shelves, Remus finally found "The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1." He grabbed it and turned but something he saw caught his eye. It was a book of werewolves. And above it, the plaque on the shelf said "Dark Creatures". Because no matter how much he tried to masquerade himself as a normal boy, he knew in his heart what he truly was.

/

Hope followed the woman and her son's at a brisk pace, weaving through the crowd. She would not tolerate anyone insulting her son like that, little known a grown woman. And she definitely couldn't keep quiet when that woman made Remus apologize for something that had most certainly not been his fault. Remus had already apologized for too many things that weren't his fault. Hope watched the woman start down some steps into an alley off of Diagon Alley. Hope hurried after her.

The place she found herself in was very different from the previous alley. The sunlight didn't seem to reach here nor the people. Everyone was pale and their eyes sunken. One woman whispered to her husband, "Oh, look at the Mudblood! It's filthy!" Hope kept her head down. There was that awful word again. She remembered Lyall saying something about "blood purists" using the horrible term to describe witches and wizards with Muggle parents. Did that make her worse than a Mudblood in their eyes? Hope found she didn't really care. With a surge of anger, she used the power to propel herself forward and grasp the woman who had used that very word to describe her son, by the shoulder.

The woman gasped and turned around, fury etched into her hag-like appearance. "Unhand me, Mudblood!" She screeched. "How dare you touch my noble, sacred skin with your vile flesh, born of Muggle filth?" She eyed Hope's dress with disdain. "Without the decency to even wear proper robes! Oh, why is dirt like you allowed in Knockturn Alley?" Hope's hands clenched into fists and she began to grit her teeth.

"Perhaps you do not remember me, but your son ran into mine back at Madam Malkin's. You called him a frightfully rude name and had him apologize. Now I'm here to have you apologize, Mrs..."

"Mrs. Walburga Black of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Toujours Pur." Walburga spat the words out, expecting Hope to recoil at the name like so others must have before her. To plead forgiveness and worship the ground she walked on. Hope did none of these things. She held her ground. This only made Walburga even more angry. Her boys behind her stared in shock. Both were trembling nearly out of their skins with fear.

"Mrs. Black, you will now follow me to Diagon Alley where we will find my son and you will apologize profusely to him. Do you understand me?" Walburga stared at Hope for a long, long moment. Then her hand raised and struck Hope across the face. It was such a shock that Hope actually felt tears well up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

"I don't apologize to anyone." Walburga sneered. "Especially not to horrid Mudblood brats like you or your filthy offspring. Now scamper away to your tainted family before I decide to use something worse." Hope felt what could have only been a wand press against her throat.

"HEY!" A shout resounded from somewhere behind her. "EXPELLIARMUS!" Walburga's wand suddenly flew from her hand and her shocked expression quickly turned to one of pure rage. But then she was thrown behind her protector as he grabbed Walburga's wrists. It was Lyall.

"You do not harm my wife." Lyall said through clenched teeth. "I don't care how pure your blood is or how many Galleons you have in Gringotts. I will not allow your family to destroy mine." And he grasped Hope in his arms and led her away from the three Blacks, all still standing, dumbstruck. As soon as they were back in Diagon Alley, Hope breathed a sigh of relief. She looked at Lyall.

"Thank you." She said.

"Of course." He murmured into her hair. She drew away.

"We still have problems, Lyall. Problems we have to work through. We can't do this." She pushed his arms away. But it took so much. They had been together so long, been through a lot. And he had proudly called her his wife in the presence of Walburga. But he had done too much to be forgiven, at least right away.

"Remus is waiting in Flourish and Blotts." Lyall said quietly. "We should collect him."

Hope nodded numbly, more pressing matters clouding her thoughts.

/

Father had left the shop quite suddenly and without warning. Remus had assumed he had decided to look for Mum and was therefore unsurprised when he returned with her.

By now, Remus had gotten all of the books that he needed and, luckily, they could so far afford both the small pile in his hands as well as his robes. With a little more luck on their side, they could get by affording the rest of his needed supplies as well as his wand. Oh, how Remus awaited his wand! It would be the final detail to prove that he really was, in fact, a wizard.

Mum looked nervous and conflicted while Father seemed anxious. Remus could practically feel anxiety hitting him in waves. It made him worried as he wasn't typically this attuned to emotions unless around the full moon, when his senses were hyperactive. There was something else too. Something like sorrow, shining in his eyes. After paying, they went to the apothecary. Then a few other places before finally, finally it was time to go to Ollivanders.

They entered the musty smelling, dimly lit shop. A shelf full of boxes that could only hold wands filled the entire back wall. At first, the room seemed empty before a very old but very wise looking man unearthed himself from behind the counter. "Mr. Lyall Lupin, my word!" The man said with a smile. "It seems like only yesterday you were buying your wand! Twelve inches, maple and dragon heartstring, yes?" Father smiled, memories recounting in his eyes.

"That's right." He said. The man that must be Ollivander turned to Mum.

"I don't believe we've met." He frowned, extending a hand. "Mr. Garrick Ollivander, Maker of fine wands."

Mum smiled, shaking his hand. "Hope Lupin." She said.

"Ah," Ollivander said. "And you must have gotten your wand from Gregorovitch, yes?"

"Oh, no. I haven't got a wand. I'm a Muggle."

"Ah, I see." Ollivander then turned to Remus. "But of course we're here for this young wizard. What is your name?"

"Remus Lupin, sir."

"Mr. Lupin, tell me, are you ready to have your first wand?" Remus nodded excitedly. "Well, then we should get started. And remember, Mr. Lupin, the wand chooses the wizard." This stopped Remus cold. Exactly how much wizard was he? Would a wand choose someone that wasn't entirely human? With shaking hands, he gripped tightly the first wand he was given. "Well, give it a wave!" Ollivander said. Remus scarcely did before it was wrenched from his hands again.

They repeated this pattern for a while until there were more wands sitting discarded on the desk than there were on the shelves. This made Remus nervous and even guilty for putting Ollivander through all this trouble. Would any wand pick him? Or did they all shy away from what he was? A monster.

Ollivander chose a box from the nearly empty shelf. He delicately pulled out the wand, like he had all the others. "Ten and three quarter inches, cypress and unicorn hair." He said smiling. "I have a good feeling about this one."

There had been many other wands they had tried that Ollivander had had a "good feeling" about and each one rejected him. Remus now only waited before there were no wands left in the shop and he would retire his dreams of Hogwarts like he had originally all those years ago.

He took the wand from Ollivander and knew immediately that it was different than the others. He looked at Ollivander, who's smile had grown and his parents who were beaming. He had found it. He had finally found his wand.

That night, for once, Remus went to bed not worrying about his parents or future or lycanthropy but rather that he officially had a wand and was officially a student at Hogwarts. He sat on his bed well into the night, just staring at the glorious miracle between his fingers. The wand that had chosen a werewolf.

A/N: An extra long chapter as an apology for the wait! This seems like routine now, but please review! :)


	5. On the Train

A/N: Thank you Seena T, electricaaaa, and Ocean Eyed Redhead, for the reviews last chapter! And it's time to give a round of applause for the other Marudars! Because none are really the same without each other...

Chapter 5: On the Train

Lyall helped his son navigate through the busy crowd at King's Cross. They were jostled from side to side and Remus was nearly knocked over thrice. Lyall helped to steady the trolley containing his son's trunk. "Come on, now, let's keep going." He yelled over the throng. His son's frail form clung to both the trolley and Lyall's arm. They reached the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Remus looked up worriedly at his father. "What now?" He asked.

"Don't worry." Lyall smiled. "It's hidden so muggles won't find it. Through the wall between platforms 9 and 10. We can do it at a run if you're nervous." Remus nodded and the two charged for the wall. Lyall felt his son tense between his arms and held him a bit tighter for comfort. They broke through the wall and onto the platform. Remus had opened his eyes and then stared in awe at the beautiful scarlet steam engine, surrounded by wizards and witches saying goodbye to their children.

Lyall too enjoyed the sight though he had seen it before. After Remus was diagnosed with lycanthropy, he never thought he'd see it again. Lyall helped his son to carry his trunk onto the train. The whistle blew. "I'd better leave you here then." Lyall said, bringing his son into an awkward embrace. Their relationship did not typically involve hugging. "See you at Christmas. I'll give your mother your love." He patted Remus's head and then departed back onto the platform. Remus ducked out of the doorway and waved from the window as the train began to chug blissfully away from the station, leaving the only people he ever really knew behind. He pressed his face against the glass and watched his father until they turned a corner and he was gone.

Lyall, meanwhile, was shocked when his son disappeared from view. He had not really thought of his going to school being him leaving them until that moment. It all had suddenly become real. He stood stock still on the platform as other families started to leave.

Until Christmas break, he didn't have to worry over Remus's health, listen to those soul shattering screams on the full moon, heal the self-inflicted wounds from the aftermath. He wouldn't concern himself over possibly too close neighbors discovering Remus's lycanthropy. He could pretend, for a short while at least, that he was not the wizard with the sickly werewolf child.

He stopped those thoughts quickly however when remembering that he would also, until Christmas break, not see the gleam of happiness light up Remus's blue-green eyes, would not feel the skinny, fragile arms wrap around his waist with a surprisingly strong grip when he got home from work, he would not even get to ruffle his hair at the breakfast table or watch him sleep, curled in on himself, every night.

Lyall also knew that he wouldn't even get to go home to his beautiful wife, whom he had taken for granted. He wouldn't even be going home. Hope would stay there whilst he would be living with his sister for a little while. A break. As decided. Lyall sighed, finally leaving the empty platform, save for a few stragglers. And for the first time in a long time, he was not greeted at home with a hug from his son.

/

Remus dragged his trunk behind him as he searched for a place to sit. Suddenly a compartment door a little ways down burst open and a redheaded girl came out along with a pale and greasy-haired boy, both looking livid. Laughter resounded inside the compartment they just left along with the repeatedly shouted, "Snivellous!" Remus watched the two as the redheaded girl dragged the boy down the aisle. They opened the door to another compartment and stood there for a moment before coming in. Remus quickly deduced that the other compartments were all full and then decided to take his chances with the one that the redheaded girl had entered. He knocked shyly before hearing a soft, "Come in."

He opened the door. "Um...Hi. Can I sit here? The others are full." The compartment's contents were the redheaded girl and her friend, along with a chubby blonde boy with watery blue eyes. Remus was first reminded of a rat. The blonde boy shrugged whilst the greasy-haired one merely frowned and moved closer to the window. The girl however smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Sure!" She said. "I'm Lily Evans! First year. Are you a first year too? I would think so, you seem around my age, I-"

The boy in the corner cut her off. "Lily, don't you think you should interrogate him after he gets his trunk put away, at least?"

"Oh!" Lily gasped. "Of course, I'm so sorry, I talk too much sometimes, I guess. Do you need help with that?"

Together, they lifted Remus's trunk onto the rack and then the two sat. And for a while it was uncomfortably quiet. "So..." Lily said. She suddenly pointed to the boy in the corner. "That's my friend, Sev. Well, actually Severus, but I call him Sev. And that boy over there is Peter." She gestured to the blonde boy. "We just met him." Remus nodded and then noticed the other three curiously staring at him. He realized then that he was supposed to give his name.

"Oh, um...I'm Remus. Remus Lupin." Lily smiled.

"Pleasure, Remus." She said. Then she tilted her head to the side. "What an unusual name."

"He's named after the founder of Rome." Severus said quietly. He looked up through his dark curtain of hair. "Raised by a wolf, right?"

This question startled Remus so that he jumped about a mile and nearly choked on his own tongue. "S-sorry?" He sputtered shrilly.

Severus did not seem to notice his nervousness and only continued. "Remus and Romulus were the founders of Rome. They were raised by a wolf, right?"

"Oh! Oh, yes..." Remus breathed a grateful sigh of relief. How awful would it have been had his secret been revealed before they even reached Hogwarts?

"Named after the founder of Rome is pretty cool." Lily said. "And here I was only named after a flower."

Remus smiled at her. "Well, I think lilies are beautiful actually. My mum has them in her garden back home." Lily blushed a deep red that matched her hair. Severus scowled in the corner.

"I wasn't named after anything cool or beautiful, but I think my name is pretty nice." Peter piped up. "So, what houses do you guys want to go to?"

"Slytherin." Severus said at once. A chill ran down Remus's spine at the name. He remembered how his father's stories always seemed to involve a common enemy. The Slytherin house.

"I want to as well, though I'm not sure I'd fit." Lily said. "I've read about the houses in Hogwarts, A History, and I think I might be more of a Ravenclaw. What about you, Remus?"

"Well, my father was a Gryffindor so maybe there. But I see myself in Ravenclaw, honestly."

"Well, hope for Ravenclaw." Severus said. "The last thing I need is to share another compartment with a Gryffindor."

"I'm hoping for Gryffindor!" Peter said though no one had asked. "My parents were both Hufflepuffs, but I think I'm brave enough, don't you?"

"Of course, Peter." Remus said kindly. Peter puffed out his chest with pride. Remus realized that he was the boy from Madam Malkin's, the one who had been fit for robes next to him.

The four sunk into a silence for a while before Lily attempted to make conversation again. "So, Remus, your dad was a Gryffindor? What about your mum?"

"Oh, she didn't go to Hogwarts. My mum's a Muggle."

Lily seemed positively delighted. "My parents are Muggles too!" She exclaimed. "I'm not related to any witches or wizards as far as I can tell, so when I got the letter this summer, we were all so very pleased. Well, my parents were surprised first, they didn't believe Sev's stories, see. And actually Petunia isn't all that pleased but Dad said she'll come around."

"Petunia?" Remus asked.

"My elder sister." Lily sighed. "A Muggle, like the rest of my family. She wanted to come with me, though she'll never admit it."

"I almost didn't come to Hogwarts." Peter said. "My parents thought I was a Squib."

"Squib?" Lily asked.

"A person with no magical abilities even if their parents have magic." Severus supplied.

"Oh." Lily said. "So, like the opposite of Muggle-borns. Well, Peter, I'm glad you're here." At this, Peter beamed while blushing furiously.

"I'm glad you're here too, Lily!" He said happily.

Soon a witch pushing a trolley full of magical sweets arrived and Peter, Lily, and Severus all pulled out money. Lily eyed the Bernie Bott's Every Flavour Beans suspiciously. "Are they really every flavour, or is that just marketing?" She asked.

"Trust me, they do have every flavour. You want to be careful with those." Remus suggested. "If I were you, I'd get the Chocolate Frogs."

Lily nodded and chose four Chocolate Frogs. "Sev, which ones are the Sickles again?" She asked her friend, holding out a small assembly of wizard coins in her hand. Severus helped her pay and when the trolley witch left, Lily handed Remus two of the boxes in her hands. He shook his head, trying to give them back. "Come on, Remus, anyone could see that you wanted some, and you haven't eaten anything yet. It's not healthy, you know, you're already so skinny."

"Lily," Remus said softly. "Thank you for the offer, but I can't pay for it." Lily scoffed and placed the boxes in his hands anyways.

"You don't have to pay for anything. We're friends and this is what friends do." She sat back and smiled. "Eat up."

Remus obeyed and ate hungrily. Lily's words kept replaying in his head and it washed over him in joy and excitement. He had a friend.

/

It was much later and the train was nearly to Hogwarts. Since Lily was the only girl, she left to change in one of the waterclosets in the back. Remus went with her because he preferred privacy. The horror would be too much if Severus or Peter saw his scars. It wouldn't take long for anyone to guess what made all those bite marks. Lily and Remus went into separate waterclosets and put on their robes. Remus emerged first and was just closing the door behind him when someone knocked into him from behind.

"Watch where you're go...Oh. It's you." Remus turned. The boy who had walked into him had longish wavy black hair and peculiar grey eyes. He was the same boy who had walked into him at Madam Malkin's back in Diagon Alley. The boy laughed which sounded like a bark. "What is it with you that causes people to walk over you, huh? I'm sorry, but you should start watching your back before someone puts footprints in it." The two laughed and Remus neglected to mention the fact that the only person who continuingly ran into him was this boy.

"I'm Sirius Black, heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Toujours Pur." Remus shook hands lightly with the enthusiastic wizard.

"Um...Remus Lupin." He said. His name suddenly seemed less important next to Sirius's title. Did most wizards introduce themselves that way? Severus and Peter hadn't. Suddenly, the door next to them burst open and Lily came out, fuming.

"Black." She said in a tone like ice, her emerald eyes having lost their previous sparks of happiness.

"Evans." Sirius replied cooly. Remus started backing away nervously but Lily stopped him, grasping his wrist.

"What are you doing here, Black? Terrorizing more of my friends?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm using the loo, obviously." He said, rolling his eyes. Then Sirius grinned. "Really, though, Snvilly was terrorized by me?"

Lily's green eyes narrowed to slits. "Come on, Remus, let's go. We don't want to be caught with this kind of company."

"See ya 'round, Lupin." Sirius called after them. "And you should know that Evans already has a boyfriend, and I hear she only likes the greasy ones." He snickered behind them.

As Lily dragged him back to their compartment, she told him what Sirius and his friend, James Potter, had said about Severus. Remus had been confused. That didn't sound like something Sirius would do, though he'd known him for a short time he didn't seem like a bully. But Remus had remembered the hatred in Sirius's mother's eyes in Madam Malkin's. The way she had spit the word mudblood at him. How easily he could see those cruel grey eyes belonging to Sirius. The rest of the train ride went by in silence until finally, finally they arrived at Hogwarts.

A/N: So sorry James didn't end up in here, it honestly wasn't expected. He was mentioned though, that's a start! And I'm sorry this took so long also, as my teachers would agree I'm not very good with deadlines. :) But I have an amazing excuse: I was at Regionals all weekend and preparing for it beforehand so not a lot of down time. On another note, I do love Lyall and Hope so expect to hear about their drama even while Remus is at Hogwarts. Anyways, please review!


	6. The Lion and the Wolf

A/N: Thank you for reviewing, Seena T! I am so, so, so sorry! I did not mean to let time get away from me like this and I really hope that some of you out there are still reading this. My pile of school work became so tall that I had to temporarily set this aside before my education toppled over. Luckily, I can now say that I have successfully graduated the seventh grade so updates should be more regular from now on. And it's time to celebrate! Remus is officially at Hogwarts!

Chapter 6: The Lion and the Wolf

Remus struggled to keep up as Lily and Severus trudged on ahead of him. He also struggled to stay behind however for Peter's sake. A big man with a bushy beard and kind eyes was swinging a lantern and calling, "Firs' years! Firs' years, this way!" Remus and his new friends followed. They were led to a large lake with many rowboats waiting at the shore.

"Four ter a boat!" The giant called. "Come on, now! Yer don't want ter miss the feast!" Remus, Lily, Severus, and Peter struggled through the crowd but it was a lost cause as is. There would be no way they would find an entirely empty boat for the four of them. It came to the point where there were only two boats left that weren't full and both were currently occupied by two people. Lily smiled apologetically.

"Do you mind?" She asked gesturing to the boat nearest them. "Sev and I would rather not sit with them." She nodded to the farther boat which contained, to Remus's horror, Sirius Black and a boy with black messy hair and glasses, who could only be James Potter. Remus remembered how Lily spoke of them. She seemed too nice and outgoing of person to have bad blood with anyone. Remus shuddered to think of how mean these boys could be.

But Lily and Severus had already once suffered at their hands and the werewolf couldn't put them through anymore. "Sure." He said shakily. "See you soon." He offered her a hesitant smile and was overjoyed when she returned it enthusiastically. He and Peter climbed into the awaiting boat.

"Lupin!" Sirius cried when he saw who had stepped in. "Jamie, look, I was just telling you about him. This is Remus, thank God he's got a stranger name than I do. Could've gone seven whole years of torture. Good thing you're here to even the load, mate." Sirius grinned, slapping Remus on the back which momentarily left him breathless, despite the low force no doubt intended by the punch.

James extended a hand. "James Potter." He said with a smile. Then he shot a glare at Sirius. "And never call me Jamie again."

As the boats began to move (by themselves, to the wondrous surprise of Remus), James struck up conversation. "So, how was the ride down? Sirius told me that you had to share a compartment with Snivellous. So sorry, shame anyone had to get stuck with him. And Evans too! Rough luck, mate."

"His name is Severus." Remus said quietly, a bit upset at hearing what his new friends were being called. "And he's not that bad. Neither is Lily. I actually had a great time."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "And kind too!" He said dramatically, ruffling Remus's hair. "We got lucky with this one, Potter! Who would've thought the human doormat to be a perfect addition to our group!"

"Agreed!" James said. "Blimey, we haven't even walked through the doors yet, and we've made history. This should be a documented moment! Shall we seal it in blood, mates?"

"I'd really rather not." Sirius said. "It seems a bit much considering the three of us together met two minutes go."

Remus tuned out the playful argument that had risen between Sirius and James. He had gotten into this boat knowing that these boys were bullies and that he shouldn't like them. He remembered the cold tone that Lily had taken with Sirius outside of the waterclosets. He remembered how her emerald eyes held a grave expression when she told him all that Sirius and James had said to and about her and Severus. He remembered being in Diagon Alley all those weeks ago, the cruel grey eyes of Mrs. Black looking at him with pure hatred. For now he saw excitement and happiness in the grey eyes of Sirius. But how quickly could that change? How had he done this? Suddenly, these boys thought he was their friend. They had called him "mate" three times already and were discussing ways to bind their group. Remus shuddered. Four friends before even reaching the school had been better than he expected. But he didn't want to upset Lily by being friends with these boys and he knew that Sirius and James had been bullies. On the other side, however, they seemed nice now. And had so gladly folded him into their group. Remus's head hurt just thinking of the complexity of the situation. Though that could have been the impending moon.

Suddenly, the gradually growing chatter from the other boats ceased. Remus's boat had been silenced as well. He looked up and saw his first look of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

It was captivating, magnificent. The castle towered over the lake, the largest tower blocking the ominous moon which for once had left Remus's mind entirely. Each window emitted a warm glow. Remus's superior vision caught the flicker of each candle. It felt like home.

"Wow." Peter said. "It's amazing." Remus jumped. He suddenly felt incredibly guilty. He had forgotten the small boy from the train was even there with them. How peculiar this Peter Pettigrew could so easily blend in with his surroundings.

"Yeah." Sirius said distantly. "Blimey, it's just as Drommie said. Wow."

"It's nice." James said nonchalently.

"Who's Drommie?" Remus asked.

"My cousin." Sirius answered, turning away from the beautiful sight in front of them. "She's in her last year here. And my cousin, Narcissa, is in her fifth. They're both Slytherins. So was my cousin Bella and my parents, their parents, our grandparents, and so on. There hasn't yet been a Black that wasn't in Slytherin."

"Yet." James emphasized. "But we're changing that today, mate. You're going to Gryffindor with me."

"Or you'll go to Slytherin with me."

"Never! Sorry, Sirius, but I could never get on with those snakes."

"Fine, we'll let Remmy decide. Remmy," Sirius looked at Remus. "Slytherin or Gryffindor?"

"Don't call me Remmy." Remus said. He didn't enjoy these choices, as if they could just decide right now which house they would live in for the next seven years. "I guess Gryffindor." He sighed, knowing that there was no way to stop the boys from prying him otherwise. "It was my father's house."

"Great dad, you must got." James said. He turned to Sirius smugly. "It's been decided. We're lions now."

"I choose Gryffindor too!" Peter squeaked. No one paid him any attention.

"Potter, do you know how much trouble I'd be in if I weren't in Slytherin? I might get blown off our family tree, I-" But at that moment, the boats had reached the castle. The first years stepped out and the large man led them to the doors. They were opened by a very young looking witch. Despite her years, she had a very hard, stern look about her. She seemed definitely someone that would not do good to cross.

"Thank you, Hagrid, I'll take it from here."

"O 'course, Professor, enjoy yer evening." He tilted his head to her and lumbered off into the darkness. The witch studied the group thoughtfully before leading them inside and into a large chamber.

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I am Professor McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress. In just a few moments you will enter the Great Hall for the Welcoming Feast. Before you sit with the rest of the school, however, you will be sorted into your Houses. For those of you who don't know, our houses are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Your House will be like your family. You will eat meals, attend classes, and share a common room with your House. Throughout the year you can either be awarded or lose points to or from your House. The House with the most points at the end of the year will win the House Cup. Any questions?" No one said anything. "Excellent. Please wait here momentarily." McGonagall left the chamber, the door swinging shut behind her. At once, Sirius and James turned to Remus.

"Have your parents told either of you anything about the sorting?" James asked.

"Just that I'm going to Slytherin." Sirius answered bitterly.

"My dad said it was easy and we shouldn't be nervous." Peter said. Remus jumped. He hadn't realized the boy was still near them as they came in.

He didn't pay much more attention to the conversation as he had begun to worry about the sorting. What if he wasn't brave like his father? Or smart enough for Ravenclaw? Even loyal for Hufflepuff? Werewolves weren't that loyal, were they? Would he be banished to Slytherin? The root of all evil in Father's stories? Or worse. Slytherin was for the cunning, after all. He wasn't particularly cunning, was he? Would he fit anywhere?

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming down the hall followed by the chamber doors creaking open. The building chatter ceased at once.

They were led out of the chamber and through two large doors that opened to what could only be the Great Hall. Four long tables covered the room, each providing seating for its proper House. A fifth table had seating for the teachers at the top of the room. Several students had been looking up and gasping in astonishment. Remus looked up as well and saw in amazement the night sky before him. It was a breathtaking sight. If he didn't pay too close attention to the nearly full moon.

The first years stopped in front of a stool and Professor McGonagall which was in front of the teacher's table. On the stool sat a very old hat. The first years stared in confusion until suddenly a rip opened up on the hat like a mouth and it began to sing.

It sang about where it came from and the school Houses. When it finished, Professor McGonagall picked it up, pulled out a scroll of names, and began to read the list.

Remus's stomach twisted into all different kinds of knots and so therefore didn't hear the first name or many after that as he practically shook out of his skin in anticpation. The hat saw into your mind, he learned that from the song. What would it do when it saw he was a werewolf. Would he be thrown out? Would Dumbledore be embarrassed by the teachers and forced to make Remus leave? Or would the Ministry get involved? This had been a bad idea. Maybe he could convince the hat to keep quiet and Dumbledore could come up with a reasonable excuse for him to leave.

"Black, Sirius!"

"Wish me luck." A voice whispered, scaring Remus silly. Sirius Black sauntered up to the stool with an air of confidence quite rare for an eleven year old. He sat down and McGonagall places the hat on his head. It fell over his eyes. And they waited. Much longer than they should, it seemed. Remus chanced glances at the House tables. There were faint murmurs travelling about the hall but Slytherin which waited with bated breath. Two girls especially sat on the edge of their seats. One older with shorter, brownish hair and one just a bit younger with much longer, pale blonde hair.

The hat's mouth opened and it shouted out the name of Sirius Black's House.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

A hush like no other fell over the Great Hall. And then a whispered protest flew like wild fire from table to table, so silent that only Remus's ears could probably make out the words but loud enough to be apparent.

"Did it say Gryffindor?"

"They said his name was Black, didn't they?"

"A Black in Gryffindor!"

"A Black not in Slytherin!"

Sirius stood stock still by the stool, hat long ago handed to McGonagall. A frozen look of terror and shock on his face.

Finally, a loud whoop broke the whispers. "Yeah, Black! Go lions!" It was James, who began to clap loudly for his friend, causing a more hesitant and broken applause from the Gryffindor table. This was all Sirius needed to smile and then dart to an empty seat at the Gryffindor table. The clapping abruptly ceased and the next name was called.

A few names later and Remus heard another that he recognized.

"Evans, Lily!"

He looked up excitedly to see Lily bounding up to the stool. Her red hair bounced up and down giving the illusion of anticipation, but when she faced the school, a look of utter fear was on her face. She sat on the stool and the hat fell over her emerald eyes.

They didn't wait long however to hear the hat call, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Cheers and applause erupted at the Gryffindor table. Lily looked disappointed but she still nearly sprinted to sit down with her new House.

Remus listened a bit more intently now, all the while tensing for the humiliation that was sure to come.

They had entered the L's now. Remus was shaking from head to toe. It reminded him very much like the tremors before a full moon. "It'll be fine." Someone whispered next to him. Remus made a surprised noise and turned around quickly. James was next to him, a look of encouragement on his face. "If Black can make Gryffindor, then you definitely can." The assurance made Remus feel warm inside, though he failed to mention that he wasn't necessarily shooting for Gryffindor. At this point, he hoped for any House to take him.

"Lupin, Remus!"

Remus could feel his eyes widen. No, no, no. It had come too soon, he wasn't ready. Of all the years he had spent dreaming of Hogwarts, he would give anything to just be home with his parents now. Timidly, he stepped up to the stool and sat down. The hat slipped over his eyes, blocking the school's stares.

"Hmmm." The hat said inside his head. "A werewolf? I don't believe I've ever sorted one before. Quite a nerve you've got coming to Hogwarts! Well done! Now, where would you go? Very intelligent, Ravenclaw would suit you nicely. But no, no, there's something else. So much courage needed to come to school. A werewolf, really? Yes, I know just where you belong... " the hat suddenly shouted the last word out to the hall. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus blinked at the intense light after the darkness was lifted from his vision. He stumbled off the stool and made his way over to the cheering table in a daze. The hat had congratulated him coming to school. "Well done," it had said. Remus could feel the disbelieving smile appearing on his face. He sat down and, to his dismay, found himself right next to Sirius.

"Remus!" Sirius's eyes lit up. "Can you believe it? James was right! I'm a Gryffindor, I really am!" He looked across the room to the Slytherin table and his exhilarated grin faded a bit. "Cissy doesn't look too happy. She's sure to write to Aunt Druella, who will definitely tell Mother..." Sirius began looking worried, chewing his bottom lip and wringing his hands together.

Remus couldn't let Sirius tear himself up over what his family thought. He didn't care suddenly how rude he had been to Lily and Severus. Anyone deserved this night to be the greatest. "It's alright." Remus patted Sirius's back. "So why care what they think? You belong here."

Sirius looked up and joy once again took over his features. "You're right, Remus. Besides, it'll be fine as long as I've got friends like you."

That had not been the purpose of comforting him. Remus was now very frustrated with himself. He didn't want to be friends with Sirius. Lily was his first friend and she didn't like him. With good reason too.

The sorting, meanwhile had now reached the P's.

"Pettigrew, Peter!" McGonagall called.

The small boy shuffled to the stool. When the hat dropped over his eyes, the hall waited for a long time. Seconds merged into minutes. Whispers travelled up and down each table. "Hat stall," seemed to be the mostly used words among the older kids.

"What's a hat stall?" Remus asked a student next to him. The girl turned to him excitedly. She had a silver prefect badge pinned to her robes.

"The hat can't decide where to sort him!" She said in an enthusiastic tone. "He could belong to several different Houses or worse...no Houses." Remus looked over to the boy. He could so easily blend in with his surroundings constantly seeming to disappear entirely. Funny how this was the boy who would stump the hat. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the hat called,

"GRYFFINDOR!" As Peter sighed in relief, jogging over to the table, Sirius had a curious look in his eyes.

"What's the deal with that Pettigrew kid, you think?" He asked Remus. "Kinda quiet, and the sorting hat didn't even know what to do with him!" Remus shrugged.

A couple more names were called and then,

"Potter, James!"

Sirius sat up straighter and Remus found himself doing the same.

"If that git doesn't end up in Gryffindor after all this, I'll curse him all the way to Christmas." Sirius muttered under his breath.

But the hat hadn't even left McGonagall's grip before it had screeched,

"GRYFFINDOR!" James sprinted straight to Remus and Sirius, making himself a seat between them.

"We've done it, mates. We're lions!" He cheered.

The sorting dragged on. Remus was especially hungry when he heard a name he recognized.

"Snape, Severus!"

He watched the greasy haired boy slink up to the stool. After only a moment the hat shouted,

"SLYTHERIN!"

Remus found Lily now, sitting towards the head of the table. She looked down sadly but clapped along with the whooping Slytherin House.

"Just fate that slimy git goes to the snakes." James smirked.

"Hey!" Sirius said. "My cousins sit over there."

"Sorry, mate, I exclude the ladies from such insults." He nodded up the table. "Except of course Evans."

"You two are horrible to them." Remus said irritatedly. "What've they ever done to you?"

"Wouldn't expect you to understand, Lupin." Sirius said. "You weren't there. And I'm sure they've brainwashed you into their cult by now."

"Not to worry, Remmy, we'll have you fixed up by Christmas."

Dumbledore rose and bid them permission to eat just as food appeared on the table. The meat was a bit overcooked for Remus's taste but the rest of it was delicious, even better than his mum's food though he'd never tell her that.

After dessert, Dumbledore once again came to his feet. "Now, I'll make this quick as I'm sure you're all eager to get to bed. First off, welcome first years and welcome back to the rest of you. We have a new caretaker this year named Mr. Filch. I trust you all to treat him with respect and allow him to do his job. I would also like to announce that we have a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Collins. And I would like to remind all of you that the Forbidden Forest is so appropriately named as it is forbidden. And finally we have recently acquired an extremely rare tree known as the Whomping Willow. It is being kept on grounds and being looked after by the Herbology teacher, Professor Sprout. I strongly encourage all of you to keep your distance as it is not a particularly friendly plant. And that is all, so you may now all follow your prefects to the common rooms. Goodnight."

Remus, Sirius, and James wordlessly followed the girl who had answered Remus's question earlier about hat stalling out of the Great Hall.

They traversed several staircases (which moved!) before ending the trek in front of a portrait of a rather fat lady wearing a frilly pink dress.

"Password?" She asked.

The prefect told the Fat Lady the password and then turned to the group of first years. "Remember that, now or you won't be able to get in."

The portrait swung open on its hinges and the first years followed the prefect in. The room was decorated in scarlet and gold. The warmth of the place actually hurt Remus's eyes a bit. The prefect explained who was in what dorm and after that was settled, Remus hurriedly climbed the stairs to the room marked "First Years". The room had four scarlet and gold four-poster beds. Behind Remus, Sirius and James entered the room, followed by Peter. No words were exchanged however (despite a small scuffling between Sirius and James in the matter of who got what bed) as they were all weighed down and wanted to get to bed. Remus had gotten a bed near a window which unfortunately showed the foreboding moon, shining right on his face. He snatched the bed hangings shut as quickly as he could and then got dressed for bed.

As the whispers finally subsided and someone was snoring in the room, Remus began to wonder how lucky he had been to be here. But he was wary as well. When would all of this come crashing down? You couldn't be two things. How long could he be a lion and a wolf?

A/N: I once again apologize for the very long wait. Has it been a month already? I award you all for your patience! Please, please, please review!


	7. Those Who Know

A/N: So, Lyall and Hope didn't make it last chapter but I managed to include them this time. Also, thanks Seena T for the review! By the way, in case you don't read the messages below I'll put one up here just to be extra annoying: I love reviews! So, please, take that information and channel your motivation into leaving me one below! :)

Chapter 7: Those Who Know

Remus woke with aches all the way up his spine, a cramp in his leg, head pounding, and hearing magnified to deafening. Today was Thursday. The moon would be on Saturday. At least it was a weekend so he wouldn't have to miss any school, hopefully. He sat up ever so slowly as his heart raced rapidly in his forehead.

This would be a bad moon, he could feel it. And that was not good as it would also be his first away from his parents. He knew that he would be in the best care at Hogwarts, better than his father could provide, but he worried on. Especially since efficiency and actual care seemed entirely different things after the many hospital visits he had taken. The prejudices against werewolves had made him simply a burden to the staff at Saint Mungo's when it was clear that Father couldn't help.

Father always made sure to care for Remus after the moon. Remus didn't really know if Father loved him but perhaps his natural compassion for anything was what caused him to ensure he was in the least amount of pain when being healed.

Would the medi-witch here worry herself with things such as his comfort? Remus shuddered at what he had in store this weekend.

Remus hesitantly pulled open his bed hangings and cautiously stood before being nearly barreled over again. Sirius steadied him though he had been the one to knock him over in the first place.

"You've got to stop doing that," Remus gasped.

"Remus, thank Merlin you're awake, James won't get out of the shower, I can't find my other sock, and my word we thought you were in a coma or something."

Sirius's shaggy hair stuck up nearly as much as James's and he indeed was wearing only one sock. His shirt was half buttoned, tie slung over his shoulder, and his school robes lay on the floor beside his belt. Sirius clearly was not an easy roommate.

"And you're skin and bones, mate!" Sirius exclaimed as he started again to the watercloset's door. "Can't afford to miss breakfast! Oi! Potter! Out of there already, there are two starving people out here!" Sirius rapped hardly on the door just as the water turned off and James stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Merlin, you'd think the world itself was gonna end or something. We've got plenty of time before breakfast, Black." James ran his fingers through his drying hair, making it stick up even more in the back.

"It's not that, it's the post, I've got to get there before- Oh, never mind." Sirius darted into the bathroom, slamming the door in its frame.

"Hey!" A voice said. "I was about to go in there!" Remus had completely forgotten about Peter Pettigrew. The boy now stood just outside the bathroom door which had been evidently slammed in his face. Remus felt a sudden sadness for the practically invisible wizard. He had thought for sure that that would be him. That was, if no one discovered his secret. He would now gladly give up all of this attention and give it to Peter. Remus didn't want friends like James and Sirius who came from pureblood families and enjoyed bullying others. The only friend that Remus really wanted was Lily. One friend was more than enough for him.

He gathered his uniform and when Sirius and Peter were done with the bathroom, he went to change. Afterwards, the four trekked down to the Great Hall together. They had to follow a few fourth year girls so as not to get lost.

Sirius sat down towards the end of the table and James took his side. Remus sat across from them and Peter sat next to Remus though the former two did not pay him much attention.

"What were you saying about the post?" James said as he began to fill his plate.

"Nothing, it's fine." Sirius said but something in his face said otherwise. He anxiously watched the magical ceiling for any signs of owls.

"Mate-" James started but was interrupted suddenly.

"Sirius?"

The girl had short, wavy brown hair. She was obviously older, in her seventh year, Remus guessed. She wore Slytherin robes but her face seemed genuinely delighted to see Sirius, though something in her eyes suggested worry. Remus remembered her as the girl from the sorting who he had assumed was the cousin Sirius talked about.

"Andromeda!" Sirius said, surprised. "You're talking to me?"

Andromeda giggled. "Of course I'm talking to you, your my cousin!"

"But I'm not in Slytherin. Aunt Druella would be furious if she knew you were talking to a Gryffindor. So would Mother."

"Never mind them. I just came to say that I'm very proud of you for being a Gryffindor. If you're going to defy our entire family by going to a different House, you might as well go to our least favorite one." She rolled her eyes. "I suppose you never do anything halfway. Well, I have to be going." She glanced up and Remus turned to what she was staring at. The blonde girl, Sirius's other cousin, was glaring harshly at Andromeda, no doubt for speaking to their cousin. "Oh, and Sirius?" Andromeda said as she was walking back to her table. "Watch out for the mail. Narcissa wrote to Mother and she must have told everyone by now." Sirius froze and then nodded, dumping over the table in a defeated position.

Suddenly, a cascade of owls flew down from the enchanted ceiling. A large parcel landed right onto James's breakfast plate, splattering scrambled eggs everywhere. A letter fell on Peter's lap and one landed neatly beside Remus's toast. The family owl hurried away. It had never liked Remus. A magnificent bird with dark feathers and a way about it that made it look more like a hawk than an owl landed gracefully next to Sirius's elbow. The bird held three envelopes in its beak. One of them was bright red.

"Oh no." Sirius whispered.

"That's a Howler, mate." James said, mouth full of brownies that his parents had sent him.

"I know what it is." Sirius said irritatedly, but there was more terror in his words. He took the letters from the bird and held the red envelope in his hands.

"If you don't open it soon it will explode." Peter said. "And that's much worse."

"Shut up." Sirius said quietly. Peter did.

Sirius gulped before quickly ripping open the envelope. Shortly after the entire Great Hall covered their ears.

"HOW DARE YOU SHAME MY FAMILY YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BLOOD TRAITOR? HOW DARE YOU JOIN THE HOUSE OF MUDBLOODS AND HALF-BLOOD SCUM? THE NAME OF BLACK HAS NO PLACE IN SUCH LOW COMPANY! HOW COULD I, WALBURGA BLACK, PURE OF BLOOD, PRODUCE SUCH FILTH FROM MY OWN FLESH? YOU DARE TO WALK AMONG BLOOD TRAITORS, HALF-BLOODS, MUDBLOODS ALIKE AS IF THEY ARE EQUAL TO US? YOU DARE TO SHAME YOUR FAMILY SO? YOU WILL BE PUNISHED, BOY, MARK MY WORDS!"

The magnified volume burst Remus's eardrums, especially so close to the full moon. No wonder Sirius was a bully, if this was the letter he received simply for not being sorted into his mother's house.

The entire hall held its breath for a beat before chatter resumed. From what Remus could hear, each conversation held very similar topics.

James turned to Sirius. "Black, you seem the right sort. But, blimey, your mum, she's just-"

"You don't need to point anything out to me, Potter." Sirius cut him off angrily. "The rest of the school and I could hear just fine." Sirius stuffed the remaining two letters in his book bag, without even glancing at them.

Remus looked down at his letter. His name was in swooping letters on the envelope. His mum's handwriting. He opened it and pulled out the nice stationary, then preceded to read the words written by a Muggle pen.

Dear Remus, the letter began.

I've missed you, my darling boy. I hope you're enjoying school and making friends. Please listen to your teachers, though I know you will. So your house is Gryffindor, like your father. I'm proud of you and not just for the house. You are the bravest boy I know, Remus. I'm proud to have a werewolf son at Hogwarts.

This is where Remus abruptly stopped reading and put the letter quickly away. The risk was too great, in case someone nearby were to read over his shoulder, if they even glanced at it and saw that word, that awful word...

The boys around him especially. He had to be cautious around his new roommates who would no doubt be at his side for a while now. Remus just didn't know exactly how to shake them. And he wasn't sure that he much wanted to. James and Sirius's laughter was often infectious. It was hard not to be amused at the very least around them.

Lily didn't have too much trouble with that, he reminded himself. Think of Lily, he reprimanded himself. Think of Lily and Severus.

Then again, he hadn't seen much of Lily or Severus since the train. But that was hardly an excuse. Professor McGonagall came over to pass out timetables. "Blimey, Potions with the Slytherins after lunch!" James exclaimed, twisting his face in disgust. "It's no good to see the snakes right after we've eaten!" Professor McGonagall looked disapprovingly towards him but said nothing as she must have seen it as too challenging to end centuries-old house rivalries. Sirius however would not let the remark slide.

"I haven't made a single comment about the Gryffindor house so why must you insult mine constantly, Potter?"

"Mate, relax, it isn't even your house. We changed tradition last night, remember?" James grinned. "And why would you insult Gryffindor, hasn't it sunk in yet? We're lions."

"Maybe I don't want to be a lion." Sirius said, angrily. He was staring almost longingly at the Slytherin table. "I'd be much better off if I was sorted where I was meant to. Everything would've gone differently." The last sentence trailed off as if no one else was meant to hear. Remus glanced uneasily at Sirius and James, the former seeming regretful whilst the latter simply confused.

"We'd best be off." Remus said, breaking the sudden tension between the two wizards. "Don't want to be late for Herbology." He stood and James followed suit. Sirius got up a little slowly, grey eyes missing a lot of the light they typically held. Peter hurried along excitedly in the three boys' wake. Remus was too preoccupied worrying about why he was still digging his trench by allowing himself to be friends with exuberant, pureblood bullies and James and Sirius were still locked in what seemed a silent argument so none noticed the all too desperate Peter at their heels.

/

Herbology was an interesting enough class. Professor Sprout gave a brief lecture about the plants they would be working with this year and then she introduced a few of the more friendly ones. Remus worked beside Sirius and James was across from them. It was very easy to talk in this class but Remus didn't allow himself to break any rules by responding to James and Sirius would not answer the boy's whispers either, evidently still angry. When Herbology let out, the next class was History of Magic which Remus was excited for as he was eager to know more than what he had already read in his textbooks. Professor Binns was a large disappointment however. The wizard was very old and very boring, putting half the class to sleep within seconds. Remus took notes despite this and he knew that the history must be much more fascinating if not told by someone like Professor Binns. Once again, he was flanked by Sirius and James.

After History of Magic, they made their way to Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall's class. Upon walking in, Remus sat in a chair next to somebody else, in hopes of Sirius and James being forced to another location. James reluctantly sat a little ways away in a different row but Sirius took the empty desk on Remus's right. Remus turned to see who was on his left and smiled in delight. "Lily!" He exclaimed.

She turned to him and broke into a grin. "Remus!" She said happily. "Oh, it feels like it's been ages since I've seen you!"

At this moment however the class began and they were silenced.

All through Transfiguration, Remus and Lily took notes side by side and though neither spoke, it felt wonderful to sit next to a friend. Once class let out for lunch, Lily and Remus began collecting their books. Sirius stormed out of class the moment it let out and Lily watched his back through narrowed eyes. "Shame Potter and Black had to be your roommates." She said to him. "And a shame we got Gryffindor as well. I think Ravenclaw would have suited us just fine. Perhaps Sev too."

"I'm fine with Gryffindor." Remus said but then worried this opinion may cause Lily to decide against being friends. So he added, "But James and Sirius just won't leave me alone."

Lily nodded sympathetically. "I know." She said. "I saw you with them at breakfast. They keep you sandwiched in the middle, like they don't want you to escape."

Remus hadn't thought of it like that but if that was their intention then it was effective.

"Just because you're rooming with them, doesn't mean you have to eat meals with them." Lily said cheerily. "You can come eat lunch with me if you want. I'd like you to meet my new friends, they're ever so nice!"

"That sounds great!" Remus said, happy to find an excuse to stay away from the two wizards.

"Excellant! I'll meet you in the Great Hall, I just want to see if I can talk with Sev first. I haven't seen him since the sorting." Remus nodded in understanding and Lily flashed a grateful smile before hurrying out of the classroom. Remus was now the only student left in the class and he was about to leave swiftly when Professor McGonagall called him back.

"Oh, Mr. Lupin?" She asked. "I'd like a word." Remus shuffled to her desk.

"Yes, Professor?" He asked shyly.

"Please sit." Her hands were folded neatly on her desk and she was clearly scrutinizing him through her stern gaze. Though her expression itself was soft, nearly kind. Remus plopped into the chair opposite her and fiddled with his hands in his lap. His worst fears warned him what this was about but he forced himself to keep his features impassive. Could be have been discovered before lunch on the first day? What a disappointment, a waste of time and resources and most importantly money if he were to be forced home now. "Mr. Lupin," she started. "I have been recently enlightened about your condition."

His worst fears had come to pass. "Oh, Professor, please!" Remus begged. "Please let me stay, I'm sorry, really, but I can't go home now! We've already paid for everything, I can't-"

McGonagall stopped him. "It's alright, Lupin, calm yourself. The Headmaster himself has informed me due to the fact of me being your Head of House. And I can assure you that it is not my decision that would count to you leaving school and even if it was I would never allow it. I can see far too much potential to be put to waste."

Remus was dumbstruck. "Really?" He asked. "My condition, it doesn't matter?"

"I wouldn't say it is something to be taken lightly but it certainly should not stand in the way of your education." McGonagall stared at him as if searching for something there. Perhaps searching for signs of the wolf, Remus realized grimly. "Remus, the Headmaster wanted me to inform you about my knowledge and he also wanted me to ask your permission to tell the other heads. It is your..." She groped for the right word. " ...secret after all."

"He wasn't supposed to tell anyone." Remus said, feeling betrayed. "No one except the matron."

"Mr. Lupin, Professor Dumbledore had your best interests in mind when confiding in me. It will be much easier for me to understand when you miss class for example and I can also help to excuse you from other classes. But if the other three heads, Professors Flitwick, Sprout, and Slughorn, knew of your situation then it would be simpler during full moons, when the teachers know a plausible reason for giving you so many sick days and I'm sure they would be far more lenient with you towards your school work."

"I don't want special treatment, ma'am." Remus said quietly. "I want to be treated ordinary. And I don't want anyone else to know."

Professor McGonagall's eyes were sorrowful as she surveyed him. "We would only trust your secret with the most trustworthy people, you realize." She said.

"I don't doubt that the Headmaster is trying to help me, Professor." Remus said. "But I don't want anyone to know. Even if they tolerated me and taught me with the others, they'd still...just...it wouldn't be the same." It would be just like the Healers at St. Mungo's, caring for him with efficiency instead of actual caring methods because it was their job and they had to. And if they had another choice, they'd let him die. Remus wanted the other teachers to see him as a student, a pupil, someone worth teaching. Not as Dumbledore's experiment to send a half-breed to school.

"I respect your decision, Mr. Lupin, and the Headmaster will as well. Now be sure to tell either of us if you change your mind. You can run off to lunch now."

Remus scampered out the door and made his way to the Great Hall, uneasiness taking over his body. There was now one more person in this world who knew his secret. One more person who could destroy his chances here if ever they let slip.

/

Lyall was sitting down to lunch with his sister, Loreli. He had been living with her since Hope had said that they needed a break. Loreli was a woman who loved flowers and birds and everything trimmed with lace. Her house was frilly and pink and portraits of beautiful landscapes along side fairy tale castles covered her walls. Lyall had not been to his sister's house in years. Not since the accident. Loreli used to be such a good aunt to Remus, adoring the little boy like he was her own. She always dreamed of having children, she told them constantly. But Loreli remained unmarried and childless. But Lyall and Loreli had quite the same upbringing as most children of the wizarding world. Raised to learn the dangers of half-breeds. Of course, Lyall tried his best to put those views aside for Remus, and it was easier to when seeing how kind and compassionate his boy was.

But Loreli never saw this. She shredded contact with her nephew when the news of him being bitten got to her. At first, she gave condolences to Lyall and Hope, sending them a casserole.

"It's not like he's dead." Hope had said. "We can still manage."

"Of course he's dead." Loreli retorted, rubbing circles on her back. "I know it's hard for a Muggle to understand, but he died the moment of infection. You're just holding onto a shell."

Hope was furious, kicking Loreli out of their house forever. Lyall had spoken to his sister occasionally through letters but he never much kept up with it as every time she would find a way to try and casually convince him of getting rid of "the monster."

But now with nowhere else to go, Lyall found himself living in her sunny, soft, rosy guestroom until Christmas. And there was no escape from the horrible things said about Remus.

The siblings sat across from one another in the frilly dining room with a heavy rose tablecloth and daisies sitting in a vase as the centerpiece. Loreli's robes were blue with pink birds flying around the silk and she had a blue hat with a rose sticking out of it to complete the ensemble. She daintily sipped her tea as she stared at her younger brother under the brim. Her light green eyes were full of the condescension she reserved for her "silly" brother Lyall.

"I'd like to thank you for the room, Loreli." Lyall said simply because the silence was suffocating.

"Oh, don't mention it, honey." Loreli said with a trilling laugh. "It's been too long. My you look worse for years than I do. That half-breed making you fret?" She was surveying the many grey hairs speckling Lyall's head. He brushed off the snide remark and laced his answer with a compliment instead.

"Oh, no one could look better than you, Lori." He smiled. It stretched his face unnaturally.

"Well, I suppose that's true." Her soprano voice grew higher as she blushed. "But sweetie, really, what's gotten between you and Hope, hmm? You and her were so perfect together, even with her being a Muggle."

Lyall was used to ignoring comments like that and so avoided the topic of Hope being a Muggle. Loreli wasn't trying to be rude. She typically just said the first things that popped into her head and those things weren't typically kind.

"My wife and I have been having differences of opinion for years. We decided that we need to have some time away from one another in order to appreciate each other."

"Well, I hope the two of you work it out. You were far too cute to let anything come between you." Loreli took a small bite of her sandwich and then as she was setting it back onto the plate, she gasped. "Oh, Lyall! I forgot! The werewolf! You left Hope alone with it? Oh, we should go now, what if it has hurt her?"

Lyall rolled his eyes at his sister's ignorance. He's left Remus home with Hope plenty of times and it was never a thought that he would harm her. On the full moon of course, but not on an ordinary day. "Remus isn't at home." He said without thinking. "Hope will be fine."

"Oh, but then where is it? Did you finally send it to that institution I told you about? Or just get rid of it altogether? The Ministry would take care of arrangements you know,-"

"Loreli!" Lyall cut her off. "Remus isn't at an institution and we didn't get rid of him! He's at school."

"School? A school for half-breeds? Why, in all my years I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life! Unless it's an obedience school..."

"No, Loreli, it's a...Muggle school." He couldn't tell Loreli that Remus, a werewolf, was going to Hogwarts. How easily she could tell the Ministry. Despite how much he'd love to boast about his son learning magic from the very best, about how he had made Gryffindor house, just like him, there were too many risks of him being discovered and then Lyall would have ruined his son's life. Again.

"A Muggle school? Is that safe? I know you try to treat it like a person, Lyall, but really what if it hurt the poor Muggles? What if it was discovered, breaking the Statute of Secrecy? Oh, honey..."

"Remus is careful. He will be fine."

"Well, I suppose. Half-breeds have wonderful knacks for lying..." Loreli said thoughtfully.

Not just half-breeds, Lyall thought.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Kind of squeezed Lyall in there but I think it ties in. Sorry for the wait, I could blame it on my coach and MCI but the truth is it was nice out and I didn't want to be inside. Please review! :)


	8. Friends

A/N: Hey guys, this chapter is very stressful, just to warn you, but I think it's sweet too. Thank you, Son of Whitebeard, for all the reviews! I love all of the feedback! Enjoy! :)

Chapter 8: Friends

Remus looked up and down the Gryffindor table for Lily. He saw Sirius, James, and Peter sitting at the foot, the former two not paying attention to the latter. He walked by them and the three were too enraptured in each own's problems to notice him. He found Lily in the middle of the table. A girl with short, pale blonde hair sat beside her and across from them a girl with long, curly chestnut hair. She wore horn-rimmed glasses and a red headband. He sat in the empty spot beside her. The girl startled however Lily beamed.

"Remus, there you are! I was worried you'd forgotten!" She gestured to the blonde girl. "These are my roommates. This is Mary. She's a Muggle-born, like me. And this is-"

"Dorcas Meadowes." The girl with the glasses interrupted. She stared at Remus, suspiciously. "What kept you, anyway?"

"Professor McGonagall just wanted a quick word." Remus said softly.

"What about?" Lily asked, curious.

"Just about my father. I guess he was a good Transfiguration student."

"Oh, that's nice." Lily said and Mary nodded.

"My parents were excellent at Transfiguration and Professor McGonagall didn't stop me." Dorcas said with regret.

"Well, McGonagall obviously couldn't have stopped everyone who had parents who were good at Transfiguration." Mary said matter-of-factly. "Remus must have just caught her eye."

"Yeah." Remus said. He pretended to enjoy the rest of lunch with Lily and her friends. But the lie he had told was nagging at him, like a knife in his chest, twisting 'round and 'round. It was the first of many, he was sure. With a secret like his, lying had to be done if he wanted to stay at school. But it was like a mark. This lie marked him as just another lying, deceitful, part-human. He had to lie, he reminded himself. He wouldn't keep his friends if they knew the truth. But how can they really be friends if he was always lying?

/

Remus, Lily, Mary, and Dorcas trekked down to the dungeons for Potions. Once at the door, Lily left them to sit with Severus, and Mary and Dorcas partnered up. Remus looked for an empty seat among Gryffindors and Slytherins. He took one near the back and was astounded at his horrible luck to find himself next to Sirius. Luckily, Sirius didn't seem to notice him. He didn't seem to notice much of anything since the Howler, now Remus came to think of it. He worried for the boy, whom no matter what things he said about Lily and Severus, what his mother said to him, in front of the entire school, was far worse. Professor Slughorn, a portly man who's belly jiggled with each step, entered the classroom. He took attendance like Professors Sprout and McGonagall before him (Binns hadn't bothered) but Slughorn did it a little differently. With nearly every name he came across he would give a small anecdote about the student in question's parents. Whether it be a fond memory or one of distain, the student would be sure to either curl in on themselves in embarrassment or some would puff out their chests with pride. Only a few were indifferent to the comments though they usually had a glint of superiority arrogance in their eyes.

"Black? Sirius Black?" Professor Slughorn called.

"Here, sir."

"My boy," Slughorn said, astounded while slowly lowering the list. "You are the grandson of Arcturus Black, Order of Merlin, First Class, are you not?"

"Yes, sir." Sirius said, looking down at his fidgeting hands.

Slughorn did a little clap of his hands with delight. "Oh, I knew it! I had his sons and your sisters in my House."

"Cousins, Professor." Sirius corrected.

"Oh, yes, of course. It's a real pity you weren't sorted into Slytherin. You would've done well in my House, boy, mark my words."

"Perhaps." Sirius said quietly.

Later down the list, Remus was beginning to dread his name being called like he had at the sorting. He didn't want any attention drawn upon him and there were already quite a few glances at his table as he was sharing it with the only Black in documented history to ever be sorted into Gryffindor.

"Remus? Remus Lupin?"

"Present." Remus called softly.

"My boy," Remus winced. He wouldn't think that Professor Slughorn would have anything to say about his father who always used his inept Potions abilities as an excuse to leave the cooking to Mum. Slughorn continued. "Do you happen to have any relation to Miss Loreli Lupin?"

The question had caught Remus off-guard. He had been expecting to mumble out something along the lines of "Yes, that's my father." And then nod along to any insult or compliment thrown out. He had not been expecting this. He dimly remembered a woman he would call Auntie Lori. She was his father's sister and he had not seen her since being bitten.

"Y-yes, sir. Sh-she was, I mean, is my aunt."

"A very bright aunt you have, my boy! She was one of my best Potions students, even for a Hufflepuff."

Remus nodded and plastered on a fake smile. "Yes, she's very good." He said. He hated how convincing the lie sounded. Though was it a lie? His aunt could be very good at Potions still. He had just neglected to mention that he didn't see her anymore so had no way of knowing.

Slughorn returned his smile. "Let us hope you are just as promising." He then moved down the list.

When he reached James, he gave a loud gasp. "Potter? Could you perhaps be the grandson of Fleamont Potter, creator of that wonderful Hair Potion?"

"Actually," James said with a cocky grin. "I'm his son."

"Son?" Slughorn said, puzzled. "But, my boy, Fleamont Potter is older than I and I myself am high in years."

"Mum and Dad had me late." James explained.

"Ah, well then, I expect only the best from you." Slughorn grinned and James sat up taller, if possible, even more arrogantly.

"Don't worry, Professor, you'll get it."

When the attendance was finally finished and the assignment layed out, Remus soon learned that he inherited the Potions skills of his father. It was the first assignment that day that he had hopelessly failed at and he found himself walking out of the classroom with a bit less enthusiasm. Sirius was at his side and apparently his spell of silence forgotten.

"You're right lousy at Potions, mate." Sirius said sympathetically. "Funny you seemed to do well in Herbology and you took a lot of notes in History of Magic and Transfiguration. What's wrong with you and Potions?"

"I don't know." Remus shrugged. "I guess I'm not good at everything."

"Well, nobody's good at everything." Sirius said. "For example, I'm not very good at staying awake in History of Magic. You seem to do just fine at that though." Sirius shrugged. "So there. None of us are perfect. Don't beat yourself up over it. Really, you should try to relax, you're white as a sheet." Remus knew that he was not pale from the failed Potions class but rather the moon Saturday night. But he was still surprised and grateful for Sirius's observation and worry for him.

"I'll try." He said. Sirius smiled and patted him on the back. But it left Remus worrying. Surely if Sirius noticed his unwellness now, he would be sure to notice as it progressed. And what would he think when he finally disappeared? Perhaps it would be simpler for him to keep Sirius farther away from friendship. Though it was a difficult feat to accomplish when he was sleeping right in the next bed for the following seven years.

/

That night in the dormitory Remus finished reading his letter from Mum. He had a sudden lurch of homesickness by the time he had read her sign off. He quickly grabbed some parchment and his quill, balancing a jar of ink on the edge of the side table.

"Hey! Look!" James said, pointing to the window. James had been trying to talk to Sirius and Sirius was ignoring him, instead making himself busy by digging through his already cluttered cupboard for an unknown object that could not seem to make itself found. Now the three boys all looked to the window where a snowy owl was making its way to them. It tapped its beak on the window pane, chirping indignantly at being shut out. Remus reached over and unlatched the window. The bird came in gracefully and landed on Remus's bed. Remus took the letter off of its leg curiously and the bird raced off again.

"Is that your family owl?" James asked. "I thought it was that brown one from breakfast."

"It is. The brown one, I mean." Remus said staring at the envelope. "I'm not sure who's owl that was."

Sirius looked up from his cupboard. "A mystery!" He said enthusiastically. "Brilliant!"

"Do you recognize who the letter's from?" James asked.

"Yes..." Remus said slowly, lost in thought. "It's from my father."

"Did your family get another owl?" Sirius asked.

"No, we couldn't aff-" Remus stopped himself. He had been about to confess his family's financial struggles which would do no good for him to explain. "It isn't like my parents." He finished. Sirius and James launched into a rowdy conversation of where the owl could have come from, the morning's disagreement completely forgotten. Remus himself did not know who's owl it was but he did know why this letter had not come with Mum's by the family owl. He had nearly forgotten the arrangement he wasn't meant to hear between his parents about having some separation from each other. This was proof of their words.

Remus broke the seal of the envelope to read.

Dear Remus,

I've heard you were sorted to Gryffindor. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, son. I hope that lessons are going well for you. I would be pleased if you wrote me back, as it is now your turn to tell Hogwarts stories. Though I understand if you are too busy.

-Father

Remus studied the words over and over. The letter was short though that was to be expected. Father was a man of few words. It gave no indication that he and Mum had separated though they must have expected him to figure it out what with two different letters carried by two different owls. But the fact that Father had written to Remus at all nearly made him cry with joy. He wasn't really sure if Father loved him. He knew that Father didn't like werewolves, hated them before his own son had joined them. He heard things that he would rant or sometimes simply grumble about werewolves when Remus wasn't meant to listen. Perhaps Father didn't see Remus as one of them. Or maybe he did. Maybe he was only keeping Remus because he couldn't altogether abandon his son. But this letter proved that Father at least cared enough to send anything at all. And he wanted Remus to write back.

"Well?" James said. Remus looked up. The two dark-haired boys were staring at him.

"What?" Remus asked.

"What did the letter say?" James asked. "Any clues about who's bird your Dad's using?"

"No." Remus said. "He didn't say."

James and Sirius exchanged excited grins. "So it is a mystery!" Sirius said. The two continued their back and forth theories, disagreements abandoned. The two had clearly salvaged their friendship from the train ride and it had not taken much to do so. While they talked, Remus started now on writing two letters. And no one could tell you what Peter was doing in the dormitory that night because he had once again slipped beneath notice.

/

The following morning, Remus woke to being shaken awake by Sirius. "Hurry up!" He said. "Or you'll miss breakfast!"

Remus sat up, holding his head as his vision spun like a top. Today was worse than yesterday. Tomorrow was the moon, the awful, painful, merciless, moon. And what would his roommates say when he wasn't here tomorrow night? Remus pulled his hangings shut once more and got dressed. He heard the bed hangings across from him being yanked open and Sirius's shout. "Oh, wake up, Pettigrew!"

The four once more trekked to the Great Hall though Remus didn't eat much. His stomach was churning. The post came again and James got a letter along with another package containing sweets. He tossed the letter aside, unread, and dug into the package.

"You will eventually eat the school's food, won't you?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

"These are from our house elf, Minnie. Mum knows I like her's best." James handed him a biscuit. "You could've asked if you wanted one."

"Thanks, but I wanted two." Sirius said and he nicked a second out of the box.

"Oi!" James protested but the banter between the dark haired boys was playful and it didn't look as though any more real arguments would ensue. Remus was glad that the two boys were friends again. This way it would be easier to slip into the cracks. "Quidditch trials are next week." James said. But Sirius was suddenly glaring at him. Remus felt the sign of exasperation building in his chest. Weren't they past fighting?

"You're a right git, you know." Sirius said. "Offer Remus a biscuit too, or did you not want him to be our friend?"

James visibly sighed in relief when he realized this was all Sirius was mad about. He turned to Remus. "Do you want one?" He asked.

"No thank you." Remus said politely. "You should give mine to Peter."

James turned, shocked as if he had only just noticed the small boy beside him. But he smiled kindly anyway. "Do you want this, Peter?"

"Yes!" Peter nodded eagerly though it looked like he was more excited to be included than the actual treat. However with a second glance at his portly figure it would be hard to tell.

The first class of the day was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Collins was a new teacher to the school and so Remus was eager to see his approach to the subject. Upon entering the classroom, James and Sirius took seats next to each other while Remus sat beside Peter who seemed left out when neither dark-haired boy opted to sit with him. That put Remus directly behind Sirius.

The teacher was surprisingly the last one to enter the classroom and when he did he was still trying to put on his tie. "Good morning, class." He said gruffly. A few students murmured a chorus of "Good morning, Professor Collins," but most were silent, continuing to stare as their teacher slowly lowered himself into his chair. His robes were left open to reveal his shirt which was off by one button. His face was wrinkly and worn, his eyes were sunken, and his hair and moustache were more grey than black. Finally, giving up on the tie, he threw it on his desk. Brushing aside some books and papers, he muttered a curse under his breath and sighed. "Now where did I put it?"

He looked up at the class once more and said, "Well, it looks as though everyone is here, we best not waste time with attendance." He folded his hands over his sternum and said, "I suppose I should tell you a little about why I am qualified to teach you Defence Against the Dark Arts. Well," Suddenly, Professor Collins's face took on a grave expression. "The truth is I'm not."

The class could not contain their disbelief and the room had erupted in mutterings and whispers. "What does he mean he's not qualified?" James said. "Why would Dumbledore hire him?"

"Everyone says that Dumbledore's gone a bit mad." Sirius said. "And anyway, we only have a year with him, that's what my cousins told me."

Professor Collins did not ask the class to quiet down. After a few moments of chatter he continued speaking over the voices until they eventually ceased. "I am not qualified to teach you Defence Against the Dark Arts. But no one really is. Because whatever I teach you in this classroom will not protect you out there. Out there you may not have time for a proper duel, the creatures you face may be too quick or too cunning for you to handle, the enemy may find you where you are not prepared to fight. And the enemy takes no mercy. The Dark Arts have no mercy."

The class was utterly silent hanging on Professor Collins's every word. A few looked scared while others seemed eager to prove their professor wrong. James and Sirius were ones of the eager whilst Peter fell into the fearful category. Remus was worried. But not because of what the Dark could do to him. But of what he, a Dark creature, could do to everyone else. Tomorrow night. He would be a monster tomorrow night. What was he thinking, coming to this school, endangering the unaware students and staff. "The Dark Arts have no mercy," Professor Collins said. All he had to do was look at the scars marring his body beneath the robes to know that the wolf definitely did not show mercy.

"I was Head of the Auror Department." Professor Collins continued. "Retired now. Ridiculous if you ask me. They said I was getting too old, too slow, too weak. But I'm here to teach you now and we'll just see which of you are capable of carrying your own," His eyes fell on James who was hanging off his seat in anticipation, wand clenched into his right fist. "And which of you might just be another victim to the Dark." His gaze found Peter who was cowering in his seat, a shaking mass beneath his robes. "Now, quills and parchment out. Prepare to take notes."

There was a shuffling of students struggling to dig out their quills, ink, and parchment. A few groans could be heard from some including James and Sirius who had been expecting a practical lesson after such an introduction. But as Remus and his classmates began to put their wands away, Professor Collins turned around in fury. "Stop!" He shouted, startling some. Peter let out a terrified squeak and Mary from the back dropped her jar of ink, causing a black puddle on the floor. "Never put your wands away in my classroom!" He said, eyes narrowing and facial features taking on a dangerously feral expression. "You never know what could happen. Always be ready to defend yourselves. The Dark Arts take children like you. Right when we least expect it." His eyes went downcast and he turned back to his desk, pulling out some stained parchment to begin the lesson.

Remus wondered what had happened to this poor man to be so frightful. Being an Auror perhaps could have done it. But he was so worried for the children's safety. Remus knew there was truth to his words. The Dark Arts had taken him, when he had least expected it. When he was so young. Only he hadn't died. Perhaps he should have. The normal children at Hogwarts would be much safer tomorrow night if he had.

/

Remus was on his way to lunch, walking to the Great Hall with Lily and Mary. Sirius and James came up behind them. "Kidnapping our roommate, Evans?" James said. "That's a bit low, I mean just because your greasy boyfriend left you for the snakes."

"Where is old Snivelly anyway?" Sirius asked. "No doubt rubbing his greasy nose inside his Potions textbook again. What is it with Mudbloods and books?" Remus stopped in his tracks. There it was. That word again. Sirius had been grinning but as he gouged the reaction of everyone around him, it slid right off his face. Lily and Mary didn't understand what the word meant either but they too knew that it was an insult and were very offended. James's mouth dropped open. His hazel eyes gave way to horror. "What's wrong, James?" Sirius asked curiously.

"What the bloody hell!" James gasped. "And I was just starting to like you, Black! You're just like those filthy snakes though. A blood purist!"

"James..." Sirius said.

"Get away from me!" James backed up a few steps. Sirius's grey eyes seemed haunted and he too backed away before running full out towards the dungeons. "That's right, run back to the Slytherins and your precious purebloods, Black!" James called after him. "Come on, Remus, let's go." Remus thought about denying him and staying with the girls, but he had this feeling that James needed him more. He couldn't quite explain it. Somehow though despite the arrogant boys words his eyes betrayed the perfectly composed mask of indifference he otherwise wore. They swam with tears. He had lost a friend. Remus turned to the girls.

"I'm sorry." He said softly and ran to catch up with James.

"Me too, Evans!" James called over his shoulder as they departed from the Great Hall. "He went too far on that one!"

Lily and Mary did not respond but James seemed to have more pressing matters on his mind. Remus followed him all the way to the common room and up into the deserted dormitory. James flung his school bag into his bedpost where it landed in a puddle beside his trunk. The smashing of his ink bottle could be heard from somewhere inside. James threw himself upon his mattress and screamed into his pillow. He removed his specs and knotted his hands through his hair, making the untidy tangles all the more so. Remus hesitantly sat on the young wizard's bed and patted his back. With a groan, James turned to him.

"I thought he was different." He said. "I thought he wasn't like all those crazy blood purists in the Prophet. I mean, I know he's a Black and all, but I thought..."

"You thought the two of you were friends." Remus said.

"Yeah." James said. "But I didn't think he'd be like that. First, yesterday defending the Slytherins and then using that awful word. Mocking people simply for blood status! My parents would never stand for it! I can't believe he spoke like that."

"What does it mean?" Remus asked. "That word?"

"It's a derogatory term for Muggle-borns. Like Evans and Snape. At least, I think they're Muggle-borns. Those aren't wizarding surnames anyway."

Remus nodded though he had no idea the difference between a wizarding and Muggle surname.

"Maybe...maybe he didn't know that it meant that. If he was raised like that, maybe he just heard the word and didn't know what it meant." Remus said.

"Maybe." James allowed. "But all the same, he shouldn't have said it. And all that moping yesterday for the Slytherins, that was strange. If he wants to be a lion, then he has got to do a better job of it."

Remus thought back to yesterday, when Sirius had been so quiet after that Howler from his mum. He had hardly spoken and when he had it was about how maybe he should have been sorted into Slytherin, like the rest of his family. During meals, he had stared across the Great Hall nearly longingly at the Slytherin table.

"Perhaps he doesn't want to be a lion."

"Why the bloody hell not?" James exclaimed. But James wasn't looking for an answer. "Come on," he said. "Let's just get to lunch."

Remus obeyed and as they walked back down the dormitory stairs, he decided he would give James a chance. At least for as long as he needed a friend.

/

Sirius was not to be seen at lunch nor Charms afterwards. And Remus soon learned that it was very challenging being James Potter's friend. It wasn't that he was unkind, to him anyway, but he seemed to be one in desperate need of attention. All throughout lunch and Charms he talked and talked and talked about seemingly everything but really nothing at all. When Professor Flitwick scolded him, he switched to passing notes which was not good for Remus because it then required him to give more of a response. But not only did James chatter about things like Quidditch that Remus knew next to nothing about but he also began to talk eagerly of plans to go after Severus and the other Slytherins.

"But why?" Remus asked as they departed Charms and walked towards the common room. "Why do you want to go after all the Slytherins? What did they do to you?"

"Don't tell me Black's getting to you too!" James said, aghast. "The Slytherins are evil! Pure evil! And Snivellous too and Evans. But we won't hex Evans," James added as an afterthought. "It wouldn't be gentleman-like, least that's what my Dad would say."

The two boys entered the common room through the portrait hole. Remus didn't like James's reasoning. The only reason he wanted to attack an innocent person was because of what House they were from. A House that has been called stereotypically evil. And if James knew what he was, what he had been conspiring with not a moment before, he could turn on him. With the very same reasoning.

Remus retired to the dormitory for the night after that. He told James that he was tired and would take a nap before dinner, which was true. The relentless moon burned his bones and all the running around of the day had left him utterly exhausted. But he also just needed a break from James Potter. He exhaled slowly from behind his bed hangings. Kicking off his shoes, he curled up into a ball on top of the spread and closed his eyes for what seemed only a moment before he was suddenly being shaken awake.

"Blimey, Lupin, you sleep like the dead!" James exclaimed as Remus slowly sat up, head throbbing. "It's dinner." James said. "And he's still not back yet." Though he didn't say a name, Remus knew exactly whom he was talking about. The two were walking through the Entrance Hall and about to enter the Great Hall when none other than Sirius's cousin, Andromeda, stopped them.

"You two!" She said. "You're my cousin's friends, right?"

"We were." James retaliated. "What do you want?"

"Nothing from you, if you'll be like that. But Sirius is upset. He was at the entrance to our common room for a while, wanting to be let in. I'm afraid my sister was rather rude to him and he ran off. I'm not sure where he is now but I suggest you go look for him in the dungeons somewhere. And please be kind." She narrowed her eyes at James. "Eleven year old boys seem to always lack that quality."

She walked gracefully past them then as only a Black could and disappeared into the Great Hall. "We should go find him." Remus said.

"No, let him bloody sulk, the berk. He's sure to turn up at dinner." James walked a few steps before turning around, noticing that Remus hadn't moved. "Coming?" He asked.

"I'll meet up with you in a bit." Remus answered. "I just want to make sure he's okay."

"Fine, but you're wasting you're time, Lupin. He's just like the rest of them. An evil little blood purist Slytherin."

Remus went towards the dungeons anyway, knowing that he was more cause for James to call him evil than Sirius ever would be.

/

Remus walked through the dungeons, shrinking against the stone wall. Many Slytherins were moving against him trying to get to dinner. "Lost, are you, little firstie?" A taller boy sneered. The boy tripped Remus and he fell to the ground, catching himself with his moon-weakened forearms. Someone else hit him with their book bag as they walked past and Remus could hear their cruel laughter.

"Wrong way, Gryffindor!" They called. Remus slowly tried to stand up but was being pushed back by the crowd and his body hurt too much to give any real results to his efforts. But then, he felt a hand on his arm, and then someone else was helping to pull him up. James, he thought. James had followed him and was helping him. Who else could it be? He turned to look at his savior and was shocked. It wasn't James.

"Come on!" Severus said. "You don't want to be over here, trust me!" Severus led Remus away from the Slytherins and brought him over to the other side of the dungeons, near the Potions classroom. "What are you doing down here?" He hissed. "Don't you know how dangerous it is for a Gryffindor first year to go wandering down the Slytherin corridor? And you're half-blood at that! You could've been cursed, you know!"

"I'm sorry." Remus gasped, all the running leaving him temporarily out of breath. "I didn't mean to cause trouble, I'm just looking for Sirius."

"Black?" Severus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Don't tell me you're friends with that arrogant git!"

"He's my roommate." Remus answered because it was the truth.

"Tough luck. Not sure why you'd care where he's off too but I'd be careful around here if I were you. And don't let Black and Potter get into your head. The both of them are just pretentious, pureblood idiots." Severus narrowed his eyes as if remembering something awful and then he turned away and continued up the stairs.

Remus was about to continue on when he heard some sniffling coming from the bathroom across from the Potions classroom. He hesitantly pushed open the door. Sirius was leaning against the sink his longish hair in disarray and tears running down his face. But when he saw Remus enter through the mirror, he quickly wiped away the evidence, though his eyes were still a bit red. "What do you want?" He said defensively, turning to look at him.

"Have you been in here all day?" Remus asked.

"N-no!" Sirius said, voice breaking. "I was at the entrance to the Slytherin common room for a while but N-Narcissa s-said...she said I d-didn't belong there. She s-said I don't d-deserve to be a Black."

Remus came over to Sirius and wrapped his arms around the boy and Sirius this time did not try to hide his tears but instead started sobbing right into Remus's shoulder. "I should never h-have been s-sorted into G-Gryffind-dor." Sirius stuttered. "If I-I were a S-Slytherin, like I was supposed to, then my parents would still l-love m-m-me. And N-Narcissa..."

"You and James though." Remus said. "The two of you were friends, I thought."

"So did I." Sirius answered bitterly. "But now he hates me too. Why does he hate me anyway? We were both having a go at Snape."

"You said Mudblood." Remus said softly.

"So?" Sirius said. "Snape is one. Or half-blood at least. Snape isn't a wizarding surname."

"But it's not right to make fun of anyone's blood status." Remus said.

"Making fun?" Sirius looked at him, confused. "I wasn't making fun. That's just what you call people with Muggle parents."

"No, you call them Muggle-borns." Remus corrected. "Mudblood is a word meant to insult them."

"Oh." Sirius frowned. "I didn't know that. My parents say it all the time. And my grandparents. Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus. Bellatrix and Narcissa. I didn't think there was another name for them."

"I'm sure if you tell James that, then he'll understand."

"I don't know." Sirius said grimly. "He sounded pretty mad."

"Trust me, Sirius, he misses you. You should try to work things out with him, especially since you're sharing a dorm for the next seven years."

"Well, I suppose you're right." Sirius got up, brushing himself off and working to make himself look like he hadn't been weeping uncontrollably not moments before. He sighed. "You know, I never did want to be a Slytherin." He confessed. "And James made Gryffindor sound so special on the train, I was glad when the Sorting Hat put me here. I just thought that it would've been easier if I had gone where Blacks were supposed to go. Sometimes it's just easier if you are what everyone expects you to be, you know?"

"I understand that." Remus said and he did. But if he had been what everyone expected him to be then he wouldn't be at Hogwarts, making an education and therefore future for himself. And he wouldn't have met people like Lily or Severus or James or Sirius. And he was happy here, despite his curse. And seeing this side of Sirius made him realize that the young wizard was cursed too, with his surname. As the two emerged from the dungeons, in search of James, Remus knew he had made another friend. And this time he decided he wanted one.

/

James and Sirius had made up rather quickly. To Remus's displeasure, they had spent the remaining of dinner and later up in the dormitory strategizing how to best attack Severus. Remus didn't want them to hurt the boy who had rescued him and whom had been so kind. He didn't deserve this. But Remus was so tired and weak and he just wanted to rest before the dreaded moon the following day. And Sirius and James had just become friends again. And real friends to him. He couldn't ruin that. So he held his tongue. But when he went to turn in for the night, Sirius stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"What?" Remus asked.

"Our master plan to get Snivelly requires three!" James said. "And we don't have time to rethink, curfew's in fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, that Prefect Longbottom would never let us past him!" Sirius whined. "Come on, Remmy!"

"Don't call me that." Remus glanced over to the bed across from him where Peter Pettigrew sat, alone and meloncholy, entirely forgotten by the rest of his roommates. Remus felt a crushing sense of guilt for the boy he had shared a compartment on the train with. "Why don't you let Peter go in my place?" Remus asked. Peter's blonde head shot up, watery blue eyes glinting with enthusiasm.

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Peter Pettigrew? Our roommate?" Remus raised his eyebrows at the raven-haired boy.

James shrugged. "I suppose it's better than not going at all. Hey, Pettigrew. Wanna-"

"Yes!" Peter shrieked, nearly falling off his bed in excitement.

"Oh, alright." Sirius groaned. The two dark haired boys left the dormitory, Peter following eagerly at their heels. He mouthed a "thank you" to Remus as he passed the werewolf's bed. Remus collapsed onto his back once the boys left. And it didn't matter to him that his roommates were off to terrorize an innocent boy. It didn't matter that the moon was tomorrow and he would have to come up with some awful lie to tell everyone. What did matter was that he had friends. And he didn't realize how great that would feel until now. He wondered how long that would last.

A/N: School is starting back up soon for me, I'm afraid, but I will try my hardest to get these next chapters out to you. Next one is a full moon chapter, so celebrate accordingly. As always, please review! :) (And no, I am not going to Hogwarts this term. My letter must have gotten lost in the post...)


	9. Condemned

A/N: Thank you, thesingingowl, for the review! Drum roll please! We have arrived to the full moon! Are you excited? I'm excited. Sorry Remus.

Chapter 9: Condemned

It would be bad. It would be so, so bad. When Remus awoke, he could feel waves of dizziness crashing over him while still laying down. He grasped the bedpost and pulled himself up, a migraine settling in. He could hear blood rushing in his ears. He could also hear the thundering voice of Peter Pettigrew though could not make sense of the words. Peter was most likely not speaking very loud. But everything sounded impossibly loud so close to the moon. Especially such a bad one. And the smells! Something bitter and dank but also fresh like spring. And grass, still wet from morning's dew, with a faint tang of ocean spray. And something sickeningly sweet like honey. The overwhelming senses made his head hurt. It was always like this, even back at home. But never had home been so loud. And the smells were mostly familiar, his parents' scents comforting. Here, in this castle, even just the dormitory, everything was boisterous to his sensitive ears and nose. He wished more than anything that he could be an ordinary wizard.

Remus pulled his bed hangings back slowly. Peter was flitting back and forth between James and Sirius, talking excitedly about the previous night. "Oh, and James when we heard Filch coming, you were so quick to unlock that classroom, we could've been caught right then and there!"

"Yes," James agreed, clearly basking in all of the attention. "My Dad taught me Alohomora before I even came to school. He said I was bound to be a trouble maker like him so he best make me a good one."

"What does it matter when Peeves got us in the end?" Sirius said miserably. "And I'd wish you'd hush, Pettigrew, Remus is still sleeping."

"No, he's not." Peter said, pointing to where Remus was sitting on the edge of his mattress, head in his hands.

"Blimey, mate, you look awful." James said, surveying Remus worriedly.

"Are you feeling alright?" Sirius asked.

Remus was not feeling alright. His stomach churned and his forehead was hot with fever. His spine ached and his legs cramped. But none of this he could reveal. He looked up and smiled, hoping it didn't look more like a grimace. "I'm fine." Remus said.

"You don't look fine." Sirius argued. "Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing."

He considered allowing them to bring him there but thought better of it. He would look ill every month and it would be far too easy to work out if he was escorted each time.

"No, I feel fine, really." he said.

"He's probably just hungry." Peter said. "Let's go to breakfast, I'm starving!"

Peter hurried to the door but stopped, seeing if any of the other boys would follow. James obliged and, after giving a final scrutinizing glance at Remus, Sirius followed. Remus trotted behind a bit more slowly, each muscle twisting with the discomfort of taking step after step. By the time they made it to the Great Hall, Remus nearly threw up at the smell of the food. He sat with his roommates despite this and fought the urge to lay his head on the table.

This perhaps would be one of the worst moons he's faced. And he would be away from home, away from his mum's kind words and his father's gentle hand. A twinge of fear coursed through him as he not for the first time wondered what the Hogwarts matron would be like.

"Remus? Remus!" James yelled. Remus woke from his thoughts and turned to the messy haired boy.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"I asked if you'd be alright by yourself today?" James said , exasperated.

"By myself?"

"Blimey, Lupin, keep up!" James said. "We told you on the way down here that we have detention with Filch today."

"Are you sure you're not sick or something?" Sirius asked, grey eyes seeming worried.

"No, I'm not." Remus said, a bit irritated with the constant asking but more irritated with his constant lying. Then, to change the subject, he said, "So, detention in your first week?"

"Yeah, I think we set a record!" James said excitedly. "I bet my Dad will be proud!"

"I bet my Father won't be." Sirius said. "For our next adventure, let's not get caught or we should be expecting another Howler." Though Sirius's voice was playful, his eyes suggested something more dark in his mind. But all the same the conversation between the two boys was friendly and joyful. Remus enjoyed listening to the antics and focused on the voices of his roommates, laughing, joking, and relaying to him the events of last night. It was too much for his muddled brain to make sense of the words but watching the boys' banter made him almost able to pretend he was normal, like them. And to Remus's delight, even Peter was able to occasionally add in a quick word or two. He was glad the blonde haired boy was finally able to find a place among his idols.

Soon, breakfast ended and the four departed from the Great Hall where they, after some slight grumblings from Sirius, split ways at Filch's office.

Remus stood alone in the corridor for a moment before a portrait of an old, stiff man with a powdered wig scolded him. "Loitering, boy? Shoo, shoo or I'll call for the caretaker!"

And so Remus hobbled away, in search of the hospital wing, and wondering what kind of Healer he had waiting for him.

/

Remus stood shakily in front of the door to the hospital wing and took a deep breath. The air rattled out unevenly, and a nervous knot built up in his chest. He steeled himself, preparing for what kind of a matron waited beyond the door. Perhaps a cold and distant Healer who could care less about his life. Or maybe a prejudiced medi-witch with hateful ideas towards lycanthropy. He opened the door slowly, terrified. The hospital wing was a large, stark white room with crisp and clean beds all in rows along the walls. A young looking woman wearing red robes and a white smock emerged from a side door. Her auburn hair was pulled back with a cream colored headband. The woman and the room smelled unnaturally clean but not to the point of burning his nostrils and throat like St Mungo's.

The woman who must be the matron took one look at him and said, "You must be Remus Lupin."

He nodded, cautious.

"Merlin, you must sit down!" She said. "Come, come now, you look as though you'll topple over!" She led him through her office to a room off of it. This room had a bed like the others though it had two tables on either side of it, a chair in the corner, and a cart full of many different vials of potion. The contents of the cart seemed to be worth more than Remus's whole house and it made him feel incredibly guilty. He hoped that he wasn't the cause for such a drastic expense. "This will be your private room for the years you're at school, Remus." She said kindly. "We didn't think it'd be right to put you in the main ward, it would look far too strange to explain, I'm afraid."

"I understand, thank you, Madam..."

"Madam Pomfrey. Now, sit, dear child, you're running a fever!"

Remus obliged, sitting into the bed while Madam Pomfrey took his temperature and then pulled his shoes off his feet. "I want you to rest today, you understand?" She said, pushing him back onto the pillow. "No doubt all of your running about to classes the last couple days has left you in this state! Now, I want you to take it easy the week of the full moon from now on, alright?"

"I wasn't doing anything taxing," Remus grumbled, thinking back to when he had opted not to go with his roommates last night.

"Oh come now!" Madam Pomfrey scoffed. "Attending school for the first time, two days of classes! Trust me, I've studied medicine a long time but I've been 'round children much longer. Eleven year old boys know nothing of their limits and if they do, they'd never say! You'll find, Remus, that I may come off as the bad guy but I always have your best interest in mind."

"You don't seem like the bad guy to me." Remus said, relieved that Madam Pomfrey was nothing like what he'd been dreading. "You're much nicer than I thought you'd be."

"Expecting a St Mungo's Healer?" Madam Pomfrey smirked. But her expression turned grave. "Very prejudiced there. I can't imagine how awful the hospital must have been for you." She brushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled, an almost maternal expression. "I'm very sorry for your past, but I promise that I give all my patients the greatest care that I am capable of. I swear to you, Remus Lupin, you are safe in my hands."

"Thank you, Madam." Remus whispered.

"Now sleep, dear. I'll rise you for lunch." Madam Pomfrey left the room then, closing the door behind her.

Remus went to sleep and almost forgot about missing his parents. Almost.

/

Madam Pomfrey woke him at lunch as promised but he only nibbled at a bit of bread and then slept again until awoken once more, this time a much more solemn Madam Pomfrey greeting him. "It's time." She said softly. Remus nodded, and the matron helped him up. The two shuffled out of the hospital wing and then departed the castle.

They crossed the grounds, Remus tripping over his own feet and Madam Pomfrey supporting his nearly limp body. "Remus, I know you're tired, but you must hurry." She said. "We haven't much time!" She kept glancing anxiously at the sky and Remus forced himself to take quicker steps.

At last, they made it to the Whomping Willow. The tree was definitely dangerous. It swatted its branches to and fro to keep the pair at bay. Madam Pomfrey Levitated a stick lying a few feet away and used it to poke a knot at the base of the tree. At once, it stopped moving. Madam Pomfrey and Remus trekked down the tunnel under the Willow and walked for a very long time before making it to a trap door in the ceiling. Madam Pomfrey reached up and unlatched it, helping Remus up into the house.

And what a house it was. It was old and desolate, dust settling in on every surface, uneven floorboards creaking and sinking with each shift of weight. The whole house seemed altogether be falling down. It was practically condemned. Remus shuddered to think of how it would hold up under the attack from the wolf. "There's a bedroom upstairs." Madam Pomfrey said. "And you can store your clothes in the wardrobe over in the corner. I must leave you now, Remus." She surveyed him with a look that suggested motherly concern. "Good luck." And with that, she disappeared down the trap door.

And then the pain started and Remus lost all other thoughts.

/

Lyall watched the moon with hatred as it ever so slowly climbed to its peak in the sky. This awful, vile, disgusting rock that took his son away every month. He cringed as moonlight filtered in through the window, pooling onto the bedroom floor. At this time, Remus would be screaming in pain. The clock ticked by into the otherwise silence. A minute or two passed. At this time, Remus's cries would give way to the dreaded wolf's howls. The clock continued to tick, oblivious to all of the horrific events unfolding. At this time, Remus would be Remus no more, his intelligent mind and caring heart succumbing to the wolf.

Lyall bowed his head in defeat, resting his head in his hands. Why? Why, of all people, did Remus have to suffer? Remus, who was the most compassionate person he's ever known, did not deserve such a fate. And never once did he complain or even ask these questions of why that Lyall found himself asking now.

If only he had never been so arrogant at that trial. If only he had never been so close-minded towards werewolves. After all, Remus was still Remus. Except for tonight.

It was strange to not hear the animal downstairs, ripping apart the cellar and tearing into itself. Wounds Remus would wake with, wounds that would scar, marring his young flesh. It was strange not to be holding Hope in his arms as they sat at the door to the cellar, her sobbing into his shoulder, neither daring to sleep through the night. Through everything, it was always him and Hope. When Remus was no longer himself, he and Hope were together. When money stretched to barely cover basic needs, he and Hope were together. When he was demoted due to many absences and lack of quality in work, he and Hope were together. They fought, night after night. But when it came to Remus, they were together. They told themselves it was for him. But now Lyall knew that it was for them. Because if Remus was gone, who would they have? Lyall knew that if Remus was one day gone, he would be alone. No matter how many people surrounded him.

The door opened suddenly and Loreli entered. "My, it's dark in here!" She exclaimed. She flicked her wand and the candles along the walls flickered to life, revealing the room to be bright pink with rose wallpaper and the occasional butterfly to fly into view. "That's better!" She said, satisfied. She walked over to Lyall. "This came for you. It's addressed to a "Father", anyway. I suppose that's what you let it call you?" She passed over a letter that, sure enough, had Father written across the envelope in Remus's neat scrawl. He must have sent it yesterday, to the house, and Hope would've sent it here for him. Lyall traced the letters with his fingers. He shut his eyes tight, trying to imagine his son in the Gryffindor common room, writing these words. But he could only hear those torturous wails from the beast.

"Yes, Loreli," he said, angry at her prejudiced remarks or perhaps more so at the echoes from the past. "I let my son call me Father because I love him. And I wish you'd understand that."

"Oh Lyall," she tsked her tongue but there was sympathy in her eyes. She sat beside him on the edge of the salmon colored bedspread. "I know it must have been difficult, when poor Remus was attacked. And I loved him too, Lyall, we all did. He was such a sweet boy, so much like his father." She smiled at Lyall then but Lyall did not return it. He was wary of the past tense that she used. "But, Lyall, Remus was bitten. And I know that it's hard to realize but he's gone. He 's been gone a while, Lyall and you need to accept that before the thing that you're keeping in your home harms your wife." Loreli took a glance out the window, eyes catching the full moon. "It turns tonight, doesn't it?" She said. "That Muggle school certainly can't hold it. And Hope isn't safe alone with it."

Lyall jumped up suddenly, away from his sister's grip. "You know nothing!" He shouted. "You let those prejudiced thoughts our parents brainwashed into us cloud the truth! You don't know Remus, you never even gave him a chance!"

"Lyall, where are you going?" She said. But Lyall had already flew down the stairs and, before he could think of any better plan, found himself stumbling out of the fireplace at his home. Coughing and brushing soot off of his robes, he stopped when he heard a timid voice call,

"Lyall?"

/

Hope had sat by Remus's bedside all day. It took some getting used to not having Remus actually in the bed. Somewhere, far away at school in Scotland, her baby was sick. As the moon slowly rose, she retreated down the stairs to the cellar door. She sat at its foot. Moonlight fell into the room, flooding it with light. She listened but could not hear her darling boy's screams. But that did not mean he wasn't screaming.

She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face. Somehow it was harder to not hear him. She wished she could hear him down there. She pressed her ear to the cellar door, listening for her baby. But she knew he wouldn't be there. And she also knew that despite this, he was still in pain somewhere.

She used to sit here with Lyall. He used to wrap his arms around her and let her spoil his robes with her sobs. A long time ago, at the beginning, he would murmur words of comfort into her hair. How the cure was out there somewhere and their son wouldn't suffer for long. But he stopped that after a while, once the possibilities of a cure were too distant if at all. And he would just hold her, which was all she needed anyway. Now even Lyall's strong arms were gone. Now even her baby could not be heard.

She needed someone tonight. She stayed at the door like it was a gateway to her family. Like how it was before. And then she heard a whoosh from the fireplace, like when someone used Floo Powder. She heard someone coughing. And upon turning her head she saw him standing there, face smudged with soot. "Lyall?" She asked cautiously.

"Hope." He said. He gestured to the window. "I couldn't...I mean...I keep thinking-"

"I know." She said. "Me too." She patted the floor beside her and he sat, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face into his chest. His lips pressed to the top of her head. They just sat there, listening to the ghost of their son in the cellar as the moonlight tenderly lapped at their feet.

The following morning Lyall and Hope had coffee together, a wordless affair. And afterwards, Lyall went back to his sister's and Hope let him. Nothing had changed between them. This wasn't a fairy tale where everything suddenly got better. They just had one old ritual. And what was the harm in that?

/

Remus woke and regretted it. Somewhere, he was bleeding and everywhere ached and he was fairly sure his arm was broken. He struggled to open his eyes and saw through dim vision Madam Pomfrey, already setting to work on healing him. After stopping whatever was bleeding and fixing his arm, she covered him and Levitated him up and to the trapdoor. Remus watched the floor move beneath him. He saw bloodstains and claw marks. He felt despair in this room and horrors he didn't want to think about. This house was truly condemned. But not until he had entered it.

/

He was in the hospital wing for the rest of that day and the next. But though he still looked slightly ill and his appetite wasn't entirely back to normal, Madam Pomfrey allowed him to join the rest of the school at lunch on Tuesday.

When he arrived in the Great Hall, he found his roommates and sat down. They all stared at him, mouths dropped open. "What?" He asked.

"Remus!"

"Remmy!"

"You're back!"

"You're alive!"

The three boys bombarded him with questions of where he had gone and comments about how much they missed him. James ruffled Remus's hair and Peter hugged him so hard he could practically feel his ribs cracking. Sirius dramatically fell at his feet and begged him to never leave them again. Professor McGonagall had to come over and silence the boys as they had definitely been drawing eyes. And Remus realized that he had missed these boys too. He had missed his friends.

A/N: This one kind of ran away from me, but I hope it you enjoyed it! This is my quickest update yet! I'm so proud of myself. Please review! :)


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